How much I rule

Black Ops Weekly Updates: Haven for pussies.

2010-11-25T16:58:00.002+03:00

After I have reviewed and watched random Black Ops multiplayer vids on Youtube, I have come to a early conclusion. If Modern Warfare 2 was said to be NoOb friendly, then Black Ops should be on a whole new level of NoOb friendly. Let me list down the top three new weapons/perks/killstreaks so obviously assumed to be NoOb freindly.

1:Replantable Claymores.
-As we all know, in the two previous installations of the Modern Warfare series, being 1 and 2, claymores were the NoOb de la NoOb of all sexplosive devices. They were self-detonated, trip-operating mines, that were easily planted and a good ass-protector for the average ignorant NoOb. The default number of only 2 were given to each player in Modern Warfare 1 (so players had to be careful when planting each, making sure not to expose the motion sensors-and alert enemies to their presence), whereas players in Modern Warfare 2 were blessed with the ability to pick up unlimited numbers of claymores from the bodies of enemies once their own supply had diminished. Scavenging, or so the enabling perk was called. But now, the pussy has become even pussier, as in the latest installment of Call Of Duty, not only the perk Scavenger (unlimited trip-mines) helps accommodate those who waste their initial supply of claymores by planting them backwards, but now, game designers have enabled players to pick up their claymores even after activation, thus NoObs do not have to rely on killing enemies to replenish their supply of claymores. Claymores can be picked up the moment they are planted, leaving less room for error, mistakes and skill. Damn forgiving.

2:Radio-Controlled Toy Car
A remotely-controlled mobile mine, activated and piloted by the player. The cars are very fast, easy to maneouver, and hard to be shot down by the enemy. I am still unsure whether the cars detonate on impact/contact with the enemy, or whether the self-destruct system is also remotely controlled by the player. All in all, this killstreak reward is a pussy, more or less like the Ac130/Chopper Gunner in MW2. But more stealthy and cute-cant believe im saying that.

3:Ballistic Knife(s)
Just like the evolution of the claymores, the evolution of the power of the melee weapon has extensively increased since the dawn of Modern Warfare 1, where the basics of knifing an enemy was only a last resort attempt at saving one's own ass. It was the messiah of the absence of bullets, in most last-minute attempts of desperation. Knifes came as an instant kill weapon, but only handy at extremely close distances. There were no perks that could contribute to the direct effectiveness of the melee weapon. Then came the perks Commando, Throwing Knife and Tactical Knife in Modern Warfare 2. Commando, making the lethal range of the knife strike dangerously far, enabled players to have more than a last-resort strike at the opponent, sometimes reigning superior over close-distance shotguns or pistols. By glitching the animation of the game, players make an extra supersonic-paced lunge at the enemy, often finishing them off with one blow. Then the Throwing Knife, as if players equipped with an average of 30 death-dealing rounds per weapon with unlimited range, had to resort to throwing their knife (which, with the help of Scavenger, the throwing knife-separated from the original melee knife- can be stolen for the body of a fallen enemy as well), only for the sake of getting cool kills on their killcams. The throwing knife actually had a realistic curvature through the air, similar to a grenade's throwing arch. So it actually required quite some skill at plotting the line of knife travel through the air to successfully take out a faraway enemy. Mind you, many players only used the throwing knife as a random kill, simply by throwing it straight into the sky. Then came the Tactical Knife, a knife not tied to your third hand, but the melee weapon is relocated to your left hand. The Tac Knife can only be used with a secondary pistol, and the motion of attack isnt the usual slashing, but more of a stabbing manner. The knife has a shorter delay time between strikes, so as to maximise the strikes per minute. The simple stabbing and retracting of the blade helps to execute another second attack, if the first fails to hit the enemy. Black Ops however, has upgraded itself towards a whole new level of NoObiness, with the arrival of the new and ever powerful Ballistic Knife. A variant of the 'Akimbo' attachment to secondary weapons, these double knifes can be timed to strike whenever the player wishes them to do so. This are actually the configuration of two knifes, one held in each hand, and a melee attack from these knifes is execited by one blade swinging a milisecond after the other, widening the radius of the attack. Not only is it madly imbalanced in this way, but the Ballistic Knife earns its namesake in it primary attack, which is its seemingly gas-powered motion of "shooting" both its blades from its grips, maddeningly far distances into the enemy. As if the Throwing Knife from Modern Warfare 2 wasnt lethal enough, this new attachment does not even require the skill to aim the knife. They simply shoot straight at the enemy, what more player get two blades and with the help of Scavenger, players do not need to travel far distances to pick up their ballistic knives. Only a short delay in the strike, when the knife comes whizzing through the air towards the enemies.

Thats it for now, folks. Dont forget to give posivite feedbacks, and i shall continue to update our outdated and ignorant gaming community here in my beloved Malaysia, that is, before the game officially becomes available over here.

Oh yeah, and i forgot. But there are rumours of other ridiculous weapons available in Wager Matches, such as Tomahawks (Red-Indian axes) and crossbows. I know, its getting beyond stoopid. Dont ask.

Saying goodbye to the COD4 community of Wangsa Maju.

2010-11-21T20:10:00.004+03:00

To all those who I have shared my most fond memories throughout my duration of gaming times in MU Gold cybercafe, I have a few shoutouts to make; to all those, you know who you are.

Setsuna - More oftenly known as SETSUNA THE PRO, via his gamertag, he frequently plays online besides of course, playing with me and the rest of the crew on local lines (we're in the same cybercafe). Most notably the best all-round CoD4 player, gets a minimum of 5 choppers in a single game and a very polite person as well. Always seems stressed when playing. Skips classes everyday just to come and have fun with our community. Favourite weapon: AK47(no attachments/gold camo). Worst enemy: My RPG mad skeelz and the USP.45.

Edwin (Orange) - Setsuna's best friend, and classmate. The master of profanities and vulgar words, he is the loudest during gaming. Quite a good player, excellent accuracy, but clumsy and prone to backstabbing. Always calls Setsuna gay, and i have seriously considered this claim at times. Enjoys playing CoD4 with a laidback gait. Indian, but can speak perfect Mandarin (including the bad words). Skips classes worst than Setsuna, and is more addicted to the game than anyone else. Likes to spray and pray and rush, hence the bandolier and deep impact. Favourite weapon: AK47(red dot/silencer). Worst enemy: Random grenades, RPG.

Jacky Jack - Also a classmate and close friend of the two above, Jacky is an excellent sniper, and an even better camper. A very dangerous and but horny guy, he is very hard to be friendly with. Very modest and polite, especially when raping the shit outta the opposing team. A master at planting claymores, and the Desert Eagle. Favourite weapon: M40A3, Frag grenades. Worst enemy: My .50 Cal Barrett/M60 spamming through his hideout.

Aces - I dont really know him very well, but he is yet another classmate of the trio. Very Chinese, as in iliterate. Quite a good player, but not as good as me. A damn good sniper, and a very tactical player. Very boring, and likes playing by the rules. Favourite weapon: Remington700, flash grenades. Worst enemy: My Gold DEagle, knife, stun.

iNVASiON - The only person Setsuna fears, ass kicker of all ass kickers. The only person known to match Setsuna at pure skills. An interestingly nice person to talk to. An all round, perfect battle machine. The only difference is that he doesnt play seriously. So less raping on his part. A decent sniper, but epic quickscoper. Favourite weapon: Any lameass weapons that you can think off. Worst enemy: Setsuna.

Kenneth - Not me, but a close gaming buddy of mine, with the same name. He lives in Puchong as well! A very tactical player, he is know to go on raping sprees frequently. Loves making stupid-ass rules and going by them. I love breaking those rules. Very agile, he loves making drop-shots, jump-shots and matador lunges. Tricks people visually, and a very accurate shot. Favourite weapon: MP5, other SMGs and his knife. Worst enemy: Flashbangs, stuns and grenades.

PigDestroyer - Malay. Gangster. Fat. Hates pigs. Piercings. Also another excellent sniper, he is very patient person, and a very disciplined player. The rules on his server must be abided by, otherwise the rule breaker shall be kicked immediately. Hence, he hates me. A very respectable player nonetheless. Favourite weapons: R700. Worst enemy: RPGs, Grenade Launchers, and Claymores.

CurryApple, OrsumPoodle, Ikeeldanimals - They tolerate me the very least. But the person i fear the most is OrsumPoodle. Despite the stoopid name, he is a very smart and tactical person. A master with SMGs, he is a good rusher, but not as brash as Edwin. Also very good at throwing grenades, planting claymores and c4s. A polite person when it comes to attitude. Favourite weapons: None. Worst enemy: Me.

DarkSlayer - Not to be messed around with, this guy is seemingly condescending, but very dangerous with the AK. A very nice person to talk to and joke around. But when it comes to gaming, he gets damn serious. Favourite weapons: AK47(no attachments) Worst enemy: Unknown.

Err, im actually not finished with this post, but Im feeling pretty snuffed out now, so I think ill continue this when i feel like it. Which may be in a few years to come. But if any readers out there are avid gamers, Setsuna can be reached anytime between 1 to 9pm every weekday. Have a match with him, and you will most probably find Edwin, JackyJack and PigDestroyer with him as well. Nighty night.

Call Of Duty: Black Ops first impressions.

2010-11-07T21:27:00.004+03:00

Shitty. That's all I can say for now. Maybe in the near future, I might add 'bull' in front of 'shitty'. But for now, Treyarch has managed to successfully murder the sovereignity that Infinity Ward has been upholding for all these years. Both singleplayer and multiplayer has zombies (not optional), gay storyline, lame effects and the worst of all, horrible graphics. The only hurrah I could think about is the Double Rainbow glitch that happens in one boringly boring map in the multiplayer edition.

I thought maybe Treyarch could reason with the community ever since the epic failness of Call Of Duty: World At War, where customer feedback clearly noted the crappiness of said game. The multiplayer was so shitty, you needed to upgrade your scopeless sniper rifle to attach a scope. Idiots, then whats the point of calling it a sniper class if it is merely a rifle in essence? Fools. However, the worst came out by the graphics, and storyline. As WaW was set in a totally different era of battle, the smooth-flowing storyline that Infinity Ward had constructed ever since the Modern Warfare series was left undisturbed. But now, since Black Ops is set in current times, I really hope the (expectedly) pathetic storyline Treyarch can construct doesnt coincide with the sequel of Modern Warfare 2. Damn, I pray Infinity Ward would come up with the third installation of the Mod Warfare series quick.

Now, about the graphics, in the multiplayer edition, all guns and perks mimics the previous MW2 game, with similar game modes and scoring patterns. The difference? Now the MP5K looks more like a rusty kerosene lamp than a gun. Plus the weapons have yet gone through a major makeover, making them yet more powerful, accurate and essentially noob-friendly as well. The only difference is the crop of new game modes, all new ideas and boring ones, too. The very bad news? Now, instead of levelling up to received weapon unlocks and upgrades, players now have to collect points or cash online, and then purchase extra perks and weapons available to their budget. Now, thats just crappy, as the old mode of prestiging is mantained but the lousy methods of levelling up, will certainly piss loyal players off.

Thats it for now, I guess. I will be receiving more intel in the weeks to come, and I shall update you guys ASAP. Or maybe ill just drop by to brag and whine.

I'm being a racist, I don't care. But hey, racism will exist no matter what right?

2010-10-31T07:04:00.002+03:00

So, I was playing around in Starcraft II. There was a particular custom map that caught my interest, named "Phantom Mode". Basically, you play the game with everyone started as your in the beginning, however, here's the catch :

Phantoms will gain extra income and extra supply, allowing them to overwhelm your allies after some time.
Paladins will gain extra income (however, does not increase over time unlike phantom). They are to assist slayers.
Slayers are just like ordinary players.

So, basically, this map is in the North America server, 99.99% of the players are Americans, like it or not, and they are utterly retarded.
Phantom mode is played with deception, namely tricking people into thinking you are what. Here's an example how stupid they are.

Red : Pally
Blue : Pally
Yellow : Okay, red and blue are pallies.
Me : And exactly what proves that they are pallies?
Yellow : Because nobody else claim as pallies.
Me : *facepalm*

*40 minutes later*

Me : Dude, if you aren't blind, their army is WAY larger than 200/200 supplies. <- ignored

*Red and Blue starts attacking me*

Me : wtf? Guys, do something, Red and Blue are the phantoms you fucking morons.
Yellow : They are pallies, and you are the phantom!

*Yellow joins in the fight*
*I got killed*

System : A Slayer has been slain.
Yellow : Fucking noob.

*20 minutes later*

Yellow : Help!

*Red and Blue destroys everyone*

System : The Phantom has destroyed you all.
Yellow : Good game Red and Blue, nice deception. I couldn't tell that you guys are the phantom!

Always I was accused as the Phantom, no matter what I play, no matter which fucking role. So what if the "pally" build their base slower than me. I can play the ladder, I can play the league matches, unlike those fucking idiots. They can go fuck themselves up.

Other than that, I can also say that Americans are perfect idiots too. They think they are the best in every shit, which they can go fuck themselves up. Once I've posted in Steam forums regarding Steam's client's inability to patch, 99.99% of the post have shown their stupidity.
"Solution : Go buy a better pc".
Go fuck themselves. I can play Starcraft II on Very High settings. I don't think piece of shit client by shitty Valve will take that much to run.

So, to summarize this shit up :
Americans are retarded somehow, majority doesn't stand for all, so stop coming back with "you fucking newb Asian" or something like that to me, coz you guys will look more retarded this way. After all, you guys are very famous for starting racist remarks anyway, fucking Americunts.
"You fucking nigger", "You fucking Asian" ,"why do anime characters look white?, they are worshiping us?".

So, nothing's personal here.

Knifing metamofosissy in MW2

2010-10-15T21:15:00.002+04:00

I dunno about you guys, but I regard knifing as the art of, well, art. The art of knifing basically is defined as the action of a full-blooded macho man ignoring all his projectile-launched weapons of ass destruction, and going old-school, manly style on his enemies with nothing but a butter knife. And since it is an insta-kill remedy in close-quarters, the real men must try to use whatever sneaky tactics possible in order to force his enemy into a close-quarter situation, where the his knife has the ability to reign supreme. This is me talking about the art of knifing in the very first installation of the Modern Warfare series, and so the careful selection of complimentary perks can go very well in tandem with whichever meleeing style that suits each different macho man.
The main perks that are the prime selection of professional knifers include:

UAV JAMMER (Stealth) - As all knifers are horribly unmatched by the damage and range possessed by ordinary weapons of their enemies, the best way is to play and stay stealthy, waiting while checking their radar, sneaking around corners and walking as carefully and moving as stealthily as possible. In order to chance an enemy into a tight spot, it requires patience and a lot of waiting. As enemies depend too much on their radar, rather than paying full attention to their visual surroundings, it can always come in handy when you can remain invisible to their radar, as well as using your teammates as decoys in order to bait enemies away from open spaces. As hopefully expected, enemies might not be prepared for your attack if you're just lurking around the corner, or where they least expect you from. Generally recommended for big maps.

DEAD SILENCE (Stealth) - Another non-visual perk, if an enemy has a good headset or a sense of hearing, he might still hear you lurking around the corner and might be prepared to pump bullets through the wall to force you down. Therefore it is safer to use this perk, as your footsteps remain barely audible, especially during sprinting and when moving around the place. This perk also serves as a counter to UAV Jammers, who feel secure undetected by your radar, but you can still hear their footsteps loud and clear when they come around a corner. This perk also a good complimentary for catching snipers unaware from behind. A very good sneaky perk, ideal for big grassy maps.

EXTREME CONDITIONING (Rush) - An awesome perk for rushing in big maps. More of a convenience perk, this comes under situations where you spawn on one side of the map, and the enemies on the other side. And while sticking to your manly values, it may be hard and timely in order to reach your enemies before your teammates' bullets reach the opposite side of the map. Extreme conditioning allows for you to sprint for a longer time duration, therefore posing a faster alternative of reaching your enemies. In close combat, this can be used as a last retreat resort to escape alerted enemies and keep as much distance between them and you.

JUGGERNAUT (Rush) - It is too late if the enemy spots you rushing toward him and has his gun out and ready to fuck you up? Do not worry, as this perk gives you the last-ditch effort to pull out one last stab before your enemy kills you with his next bullet. This perk grants a knifer extra health, as in a one-more-bullet leeway to increase his chances of stabbing an enemy headlong even though his presence is already discovered. Excellent perk for hiding and escaping enemies in big maps, especially snipers. Two bullets to the chest to take a juggernaut person down, compared to a single shot to the balls to take any ordinary person down.

SPECIAL GRENADES X3 (Immobilise) - Essentially my all-time favourite perk, this perk enables the knifer to pouch two more extra special grenades, be it smoke, stun or flash grenades. Excellent strategy when handling tough situations, especially reconaissance situations. This perk is also an excellent crown-controller, when the knifer finds himself outgunned and outnumbered, a couple of chucks of a stun or flash grenade would instantly immobilise them, giving the knifer time to take out the whole group one-by-one, or to make his escape. Although smoke grenades have the largest area of effect, I would opt for the stuns, because a knifer must envelop himself in his own smoke, and this is a bad strategy as he would be limiting his own sight. Stuns are especially good for checking around suspicous corners, or rooms where the enemies use their UAV jammer to hide themselves. Not only does the stun immobilise an enemy, but it also triggers your hitmarker when it strikes a person, therefore indicating the persence of an enemy about to attack. Flash grenades merely blind enemies, but they still remain 100% battle-efficient and ready to spray their weapons in all directions.

Fuck damn, I gotta go sleep now. Too damn tired to continue. Maybe ill find the time tomorrow to finish this post, or ill just leave it hanging in the air. Give me feedback, if you want to learn more.

First Impressions of Modern Warfare 2 via the seXbox 360

2010-10-15T19:52:00.004+04:00

Well, this post isnt really about the game, but a merely a more in-depth view about the trivals encountered by me when trying to muster the use of the XboX controller in order to play this first person shooter game. To begin with, my cousin bought a new Xbox game console and borrowed a 30-inch flat-screen plasma/LCD screen from another cousin. He showed me the game last week, and hell I must say, id rather much prefer to stick to my PC gaming methods. Even my bloody movements are so damn difficult to learn, what more could I say about the weapon handling and tactics? For instance, when sprinting, the left analog stick (which is situated a little higher than the right) needs to be pushed forward (to walk) and to be pressed down hard (to progress to sprinting speed). So basically I had to use my left thumb to control the entire movements of my virtual avatar, which was a bitch to begin with. And that was only the movement of my legs, and strafe movements left and right. But generally, using only my left thumb to maneouver (given that im a hardcore righty-handed) was an extremely difficult task to get used to. Plus the flesh from my thumb was slowly being peeled away from my fingernail, courtesy of me holding down two different modes of movement with only a finger. The sprint mode was also designed in such a way that you could only sprint forward. This would be a breeze for the PC users as the default buttons WASD were always the movement buttons, and for sprinting, players only need to tap the 'shift' button once, and not hold it down all the bloody time to keep their avatar running. Plus the shift button is located right beneath the little finger of the left hand. Yknow what, fuck my rambling and ill show you how to play Modern Warfare 2 on an XboX right fucking now.

LESSON 1: HOW TO USE THE XBOX WIRELESS CONTROLLER

Start button - Goes to main menu, and change class/team, weapons configuration.

Y button (1) - Toggles between primary weapon and secondary weapon.

B button (CTRL) - Press to Crouch, but I still dunno how to lie down.

A button - The 'F' button for the keyboard - it does all the basic functions.

X button (R) - Reloads your weapon.

Middle button (ESC) - Brings you to the main XboX menu, so dont press it.

Higher Left Analog Stick (WASD)- controls moving around and about. Press and hold analog stick forward to sprint, bloody painful and annoying.

Lower Right Analog Stick (the MOUSE) - Viewing analog, move it to find your enemies, or just to look where you're going. Press down (V) to use you melee atttack.

Lower Left Cross Thingy - Press left (5) to use grenade launcher on rifle, press right (3,6,7) to activate killstreak rewards. ( UAV Drone, Counter UAV, Care Package, Senry Gun, Predator Missile, Precision Airstrike, Harrier, Stealth Bomber, Chopper Gunner, AC-130 Gunship, ETC)

Front Right Upper Button (G) - throws knife, Semtex or normal grenades.

Front Left Upper Button (4) - throws special grenade (smoke, stun or flash)

Front Right Lower Button (LEFT CLICK) - Fires weapon.

Front Left Lower Button (RIGHT CLICK) - Aims weapon.

note; I still havnt figured out how to use claymores or c4. PLus the whole controller vibrates when you press the fire button. Hard. It aint so accurate.

Now, lets compare this to a normal keyboard and mouse set-up.

LESSON 2: HOW TO OWN IN MW2 WITH A KEYBOARD AND MOUSE - EASY

W - Move forward

S - Moonwalk

A - Strafe left

D - Strafe right

MOUSE - Wiggle it around the place to look up, down, left, right, you can even turn around!

RIGHT MOUSE - Aim

LEFT MOUSE - Fire

G - Grenade

R - Reload

W + SHIFT - Sprint

SHIFT - Holds breath and steadies sniper rifle when scoped in.

CTRL - Lie down

Q - Lean left

E - Lean right

C - Crouch

SPACEBAR - Jump, or to get up from crouching/prone mode

V - Stab a enemy at close range with a third hand, stellotaped with a machete. Its simply magic!

TAB - Check rankings, kills and deaths from a match summary table. Assist kills also.

ESC - Main menu

1 - Toggle between primary and secondary weapon.

2 - Refer to (1)

3 - Activates your UAV Radar.

4 - Stun, smoke and flash grenades.

5 - Grenade Launcher, RPG, Claymores and C4.

6 - Airstrike and Chopper.

7 - Not too sure.....

SQUIGGLY LINES BUTTON ABOVE TAB - To enable console cheats and hacks.

note: ignore the penis with the USB plug in the picture. And the roller on the mouse can also double up as a weapons toggle button.

So to summarise up my whole post, I basically have problems with the moving around buttons. And that sprint analog on the 360 simply blows my mind by its retardationess. If there is such a word. I might go one about the combat maneoveurs sometime soon.

Dude.

2010-09-20T18:00:00.002+04:00

My my, I miss this place. Looks like its the same lifeless place it used to be ever since my self-proclaimed hiatus into the real world. Want advice? Go do the same. I dont think anyone besides me has ever visited this godforsaken blog in a very long time.

It'll probably take a miracle for Starcraft II to survive.

2010-08-06T20:51:00.003+04:00

So the story goes, I was just about to play a match with Nick on Starcraft 2 and that's where I found out that Blizzard DO have idiots like those from Steam (Probably they WERE from Steam).

I found out other shits too. Like totally mofonic downright pro Amerikan system where it doesn't matter which map you want to play (Even the default official Melee maps), you haz to download it WITHIN Starcraft 2. More awesome shits are like how Blizz's server fucked up bad that a 3 MB file (the map) can never be downloaded completely (Ever seen a 3MB file ETA 3 hours download time?, welcome aboard).

So fuck Blizz, even after I've gave more damn and decided to MANUALLY download the maps from the site (since your server sucks), I CAN'T install the maps into the game itself, BECAUSE OF MORONS LIKE YOU did some fucking ridiculous shits that completely disallow testing and playing of custom maps. I wonder why on Earth did you even released Galaxy Editor anyway.

Lastly, fuck you Blizz, you've gotten yourself in my personal list of fucked up companies, next to Steam you're a shit. At least Steam which bitched me (unable to connect) gave me a kick-ass download speed after I managed to connect.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

I, me and myself VS Steam users

2010-07-12T09:52:00.003+04:00

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1318196

Referring to this thread, it's really confirmed that Amerika is a country where intelligence is dying, bad. In this world, many people know just how big and how small is the Earth, then there is a small minority where they think the world revolves around them. Amerikans always thought that the people posting in their forums, chatting with them, and playing with them are also Amerikans. They expect everybody in this rock to be an Amerikan. With a country around 20% of the rock's size itself, well, what do ya expect anyway.

I've been on war with Steam for the past weeks. I can tell that I really hate democrats, being a far-left myself. They have been eating mani from many people all around the world, and still treat them like shit. They ate my money AND treated me like shit (Which they shouldn't have done). It's a miracle that such a company actually survived, but miracles can be explained in a very logical manner.

Here's an example how they ate money.
A random rich fag kid bought a game on Steam, then realize that he cant run Steam.
The rich fag decided to leave it and buy another.
Repeat till he's drained off cash and decided to head to the store and buy the game from the shelves (Which still give Steam money)

The exact same method of earning cash once used by A$ia$oft. $team rightfully should've been written this way. With a program that even I can write out in WC3, they have been surviving for far too long.

With many idiots backing them up, I DON'T think they would care about my noble crusade, thus I CALL UPON YOU /b/rothers! TO WAGE WAR ON THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE.
(Though I know they give no damn about my noble crusade as even /b/ is filled with idiots who keep rule 34-ing every single things they could think about.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Win 7 Starter fails

2010-07-08T06:48:00.002+04:00

I seriously think Micro$oft is the distant cousin of A$ia$oft, or just maybe they are /b/rothers.

My netbook haz Win 7 starter and the reason I'm saying it fails it because even the simplest function that existed in this world can't be performed by this shit of an OS. Way to go Micro$oft, I can't bloody fucking change my fucking wallpaper and haz to stare and fap to your shitty "Windows" symbol/icon/what-ever-the-fuck-it-is.

I don't think allowing the user to change their wallpapar is that much of a lost isn't it?
I've read many articles, apparently they say that Win 7 starter is more towards for company usage, as in the workers of a certain company shall endure this shit or something. But I seriously think if the company wants to use your Win 7 starter (which is basically free), they will have to [omaba] change [/obama] the walls to their company's logo RIGHT?

After all, who in the name of Mega Christ himself would use other company's logo in their own company's workplace.

I think intelligence among humankind is rapidly degenerating.

I feel awesome

2010-07-04T17:05:00.001+04:00

I got a Netbook as a present for meh birthday. A Netbook is basically a mini notebook where you can leech off Wifi from places (Perfect for me, the Leech King).

I shall /b/ while waiting for classes to begin!

Now I'm pissed.

2010-06-24T04:25:00.002+04:00

So the story goes that I wanna just finish up on my report. Since my awesome computer doesn't have office, I decided to do it at college. Once again the college pc fails me.

Because the pc's used to program stuff, many idiots brought their thumbdrive and their share of porn along. Unlike the awesome I, those idiots download porn from sites such as "100% FREE NO VIRUS ADULT VIDEO!!!" or something like that, which obviously infected their pc. When they transfered their porn into their thumbdrive, it gets infected too. The virus quickly turn into an epidemic. Screw them coz my thumbie was j-j-j-j-jammed into it too and it got infected. As usual, my awesome pc at home will just stare at it and act like a douche because my pc is awesome, he gives no damn to small shits like that.

So when I j-j-j-jammed my thumbie into this college pc, the "very pro security blockage" blocked my whole bloody thumbie, and I can't access my files. Awesome.
Not to mention I havent backup my thumbie, so a clean up isn't possible. Screw this shit.

Stupidity beyond words.

2010-06-23T05:35:00.001+04:00

I just can't understand why this world has many stupid flaws that render awesomeness of people useless. I was going to write a report for my assignment, so I went ahead to google for a guide to do it (duh, google is the thing next to God/Me). I basically saw that thingy and now I'm in my college trying to write my damn report.

The shit is, as my awesome mind is only capable of storing specific amount of data, as many are too flawed to be remembered permanently by me, I had no choice but to google that guideline again. That's where the shit started. College intarnet censorship blocked the site, although the link clearly haz a .edu at it, which usually stands for "Education" OR basically means it's a site for Education. Somehow it got detected as a porn site and it wont load. Now I'm stuck, as my stupid brother screwed up my pc before, it haz no Microsoft Office and the report need to be prepared WITH Microsoft Office. YAY.

PS : I gotta hand it in on Friday tops.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

In the wrong place at the right time

2010-06-19T17:49:00.005+04:00

Im actually pretty excited and shaken right now so please forgive me if I sound a bit retarded. I think ive just witnessed a murder a mere 20 mins ago with my own two goddamn eyes. Well, not really, but I saw most of what happened before the police arrived. Here's what happened.

Ive just returned from dinner, which I had at one of the chinese coffee shops among the many rows of coffee shops that were near the Tesco hypermarket, situated along the LDP highway. So anyway, as me and my family were through our grilled fish and satay, a single immigrant worker (Myanmarese or Vietnamese, I reckon) ran through the shop either from the back alley or from the huge park that separated the shops from Tesco. He was not alone, as he was being pursued closely (actually chased) and noisily by a group of about 20 other countrymen whom were wielding sticks with sharpened ends and brandishing other weapons as well. They were all shouting at him in their native language, but the most distinct word I could make out coming from their mouths were HOI HOI HOI! Or something like that. I even noticed one of the solo dude's pursuers stop, bend down., and grab an empty glass beer bottle and sprinted to rejoin his gang of soon-to-be murderers.

Everyone's attention was drawn from the televisions that were airing the FIFA World Cup live broadcast (Netherlands=1 vs Japan=0), just 15 mins near the end of the match. Even the cooks of the stalls paused to have a glimpse of what was unfolding in the middle of the junction. Many other customers that were dining at the road side seemed to have forgotten the game on tv and some even got up and followed the ever expanding crown of curious onlookers. In the end, as many as a hundred people were following or watching the drama that was happening in another coffee shop, across the road on the opposite side of the coffee shop we were dining in. We continued having our dinner, with little comment on the football match and more on our food. Soon enough, we saw a few of the large crowd of spectators returning shaken, to their cold meals and continuing at them. Those whom did not follow the crowd asked curiously around about what had or was currently happening. People were talking noisily all around us as well, some were exaggerating blatantly and some were silent. I also noticed the owner of a noodle stall babbling noisily to her counterpart about what had happened. I sure did not understand a thing that came out of her mouth, but she soon motioned a hand gesture which I so clearly understood. The group of attackers slashed both of the victims' wrists or something similar along the lines of my assumption.

Looking over my back, I saw a huge crowd assembling at the other coffee shop, all surrounding a small space somewhere across the road. After time passed, the crowd began to lessen and more and more people returned to whatever they were doing. After we finished our meal and the Japanese team had lost, I noticed 5 members of the initial group of attackers cooly having their dinner at the back alley of the shop while watching the end celebrations of the match. So we all headed to our car which was parked somewhere around the park next to Tesco. That's when I noticed the glowing blue lights of a police car which was parked further around another corner of the park. Still watching the lights flash curiously, I entered the car and we slowly drove out of the parking lot. Suddenly as we were crossing the T-junction and were about to pass in front of Tesco, the police car raced out of the same junction, almost scraping my cars' rear bumper, with its police siren blaring. However, it stopped behind the bus stop that was also in front of Tesco, facing the LDP, not far from where we were parked too. That was when I noticed something only my elder sister also noticed. The body of the poor soul that was chased a while earlier, just a metre from the table which we were having our dinner, at was lying on the floor of the bus stop, for all the motorists that were driving by to see.

The two police officers in the police car, exited their car and joined a group of other officers whom were surrounding the body, slumped against the wall of the bus stop. I also noticed that the police had moved the crowd of people awaiting the bus further away from the bus stop. It never stoppped them looking even more curiously. But this all was not as awesome as what I saw that nobody ever saw. I saw a steady flow of fresh blood oozing from the body, all over the place. It was all over the bus stop's floor and the blood droplets also started hugging the wall behind the bus stop, it flowed down the wall and formed a small puddle on the cemented pavement on which we were driving by slowly. His attackers might have killed him and dumped his body at the bus stop for all to see, I thought. The head of the dead victim also seemed longer than usual, and hung very low onto it's left shoulder. It was dark at the time, but I could make out the deduction that the victim's head and body was dripping in blood all over.

It was awesome of the fact that I was a mere few feet away from the dead body. This is all described long before the ambulance, coroner or even the cordoning off crime scene tape arrived at the scene. It was all too awesome to describe. Unfortunately, I was already in the car, so we left early. I think there might've been more than two bodies, but im not too sure myself. What was evident is that the killers wanted to display their prize kill to the whole world, and their strategy worked brilliantly. But there was an army of onlookers, presumably some even getting to witness the murder. Quite a number saw more drama than me, but considering if I was alone in that coffee shop, I wouldnt think twice of getting up, forgetting my meal and curiously following that same crowd of onlookers. Monkey see, monkey do.

Racist Driving Instructor, courtesy of Metrosexual Driving Academy

2010-06-06T09:31:00.003+04:00

FIRST ENCOUNTER;

With grave reference to the above title, this guy goes by the name of Harif, or something like that, but I really have no interest over the names of racist cunts that discriminate among students. It started ever since the first time I drove 'on the road' which happened to be just around BK5 housing area, about 4 months ago. That time seemed to be my first time driving with aid of the throttle, or a gas paddle, as we all know it. I had no sort of training whatsoever, but here I went on the road, blasting out of the T-junction in facing Section 4 Secondary school. The trip overall was satisfactory for both me and my slightly senile but awesomely cool driving instructor at the time (note, he too was a Malay, but an awesome one at that). I only killed the engine once, right before a speed bump. He was calm, cool, collected. He told me to chill, relax as I was panicking at the time. He explaned that the drivers behind understood that I was a fucking NoOb that didint know how to drive, everything was cool and no other complications happened afterwards. So we were two very cool motherfuckers and that helped, so for the first time on the road, it was a successful try and enriching experience for me. When we returned to the Metro HQ, this potbellied-curly-haired-racist-cunt that wore ugly rotten shit-coloured mouldy leather shoes that looked worse than Alladin's peasant sandals (who also happened to be the head of BK's HQ AND the highlight of my post) received the good reviews of my first driving experience from Mr. Coolmutha Instructor, and looked at me with those two prejudiced, judgemental racist eyes of his. He then said to me : "Nampaknya kau ni handal betul pandu kereta ya? Curi kereta ayah, ke? Trening sendiri?" And that was the first remark I heard come outta his mouth, hows that for a first impression? He then continued with "Jom balik rumah, tapi kau pandu ma. Kau ni pro driver, kan?" I couldnt believe my ears! His second sentence to me was already a challenge for me to drive myself home.

So I had no choice but to accept his challenge. And guess what? The simple trip from the driving school till my house oversaw me successfully fucking up the engine 3 goddamn times. Three. And the route was only one-third of the first route I took with Mr. Cool. But let me explain to you readers the audacity of this Mr. RC (Racist Cunt) that not only yells and insults his subordinates, but he has a strategy of his own, that is to mentally stun the student while the poor dude is going through training. It happened to me the first time on the road. He actually hit me on the palm, but I am a man and real men don't pussy out because of a physical jab. Or even two. Or three. Etc. So there it was, the first encounter with a hardcore RC. Plus he even knew the turning to my house from the main road was the steepest hill in all of BK, so I again fucked up at that point. The cibai then gave up and drove me the rest of the journey home. So that was that.

SECOND ENCOUNTER;

That was approximately 3 months ago. By then I was a road devil, speeding over 60km/h in third gear on the road, but only with the presence of another cool, awesome teacher. I also mustered the art of side parking, sometimes doing the same motions over and over 5 times every practice session. In short, I was awesome as I usually am, but this time in another sub-division of skill that required someone awesome enough to rock its very foundations. And I was about to face a helluva steel sturucture. One day, having received another flood of good comments about my driving skeelz and that ive never even once 'mati enjin' while reversing or parking, Mr. RC decided to challenge me again by purposely giving me a bogeyed test car. The problem was in the clutch pedal. It seemed no matter how slowly you lifted the clutch after putting the car into first gear, or no matter how slightly it was lifted from the floorboard, it always seemed to kill the engine. Wear and tear was the process it might seem to have undergone. And we were not supposed to use the gas pedal when learning parking, as the speed was unnecessary for reversing into the parking space. So, Mr. RC made me use the already fucked up clutch Kancil to do my usual skillful parking. The experience was horrid. I killed the engine a total of three times again, and he kept mocking me with his racist remarks as usual. "Apasal dengan kau ni! Saya dengar kau pro giler main parking?" Was his torments. "Pro, tak pernah mati enjin, kononnya. Pergi mati la, kau ni! Tak guna, bazir masa dan petrol je, tak belajar ape ape sejak dulu. Mampus je, budak sial! Tak guna langsung!" And that was that. It was clearly another challenge, and this time I wasn't gonna kiss his ass again. "Motherfucker" I whispered under my breath. He asked me to do the parking again a couple more times, so he could release steam at me. And I wasn't gonna let him do that. This time, before lifting my foot off the clutch, I jammed my foot down on the throttle first. This way, the engine did not die. Not even once. Mr. RC made me go through the motions over and over again, and all the times I parked squarely in the box, with not even a single engine failure. Once my turn was over, I gave him a smug little grin and sat down gleefully. Now I need to have my lunch, Ill continue later. I promise! Don't cry, my fellow readers, I know you guys love me so much. Ill be back soon enough! It's ok, just...just chill for a moment ok? Bye bye, Oh man, I love you guys so much too. Yeah, I really do. Tata!

I felt awesome.

2010-05-30T21:50:00.002+04:00

It's been a while since I blogged/bitched about. I just went to T-jun's blog like a few seconds ago and saw an interesting post, what more interesting was the content itself.

After that, I accompanied Hema and Caryn to look for 2nd-hand books sold near Canteen 2. Then halfway reaching there, a funny guy, named Yong Tien Shin without knowing what he is doing, came to me and rest his arm on my shoulder. I guess he's trying to make me angry but failed eventually. And he does not know shame, because my friend was with me and he's not even polite. I ignored him mostly and just left him be. He then said: " My next class still got a long time to go la.. I've no friends now etc etc".. Aww, I pity him. What a jerk that tries to piss me off during secondary school till present and now wants to be near to me. (If you want more information about this guy, feel free to ask me during class)

Let me tell you guys what really happened. I was walking down the canteen stairs and passed by a strangely familiar figure. As soon as that"person" felt relieved because "Someone that he doesn't like didn't notice that it was him" has already fucked off, I turned back and placed my shoulder on him.

I don't know about how impolite was I but I seriously think not greeting your friends and acting as if you never recognize him at all is much more rude than what I did. Back to the topic, I do have many friends from my course, the only thing is that we were all divided into different tutorial groups and all of them were having their classes that time (Because only moronic STPM takers like T-jun would be grouped with everybody like rojak). Please don't feel insulted STPM takers, I'm just calling him stupid because he already had wonderful result in SPM (8 Aces) and he could already applied to any courses, but he chose to take STPM and flunk it.

I remembered that he told me how his family was indebted to multiple banks, and I seriously think taking Diploma immediately like me would actually help out a lot and allow him to get his degree and job ASAP (though I don't think he can get any in the first place).

Seems like he still thinks he's right and we're all wrong (translates to "the universe revolves around him", though I am the one toying with the universe itself).

Fun fact, one of his friend whispered to me this while T-jun was fascinated by the Keyboard

"You know ar, he's sometimes a bit crazy one you know?"
Obviously I replied : "HE IS!"

After all, which moron would only poke poke the same key from the Keyboard despite learning how to play Piano for like 4 months. Even I know how to lay all my 10 fingers on the keys (even though I don't know how to play them).

One last note, I don't think serious STPM takers who wants to really succeed in life would actually gave a damn to your "story" about me, let alone your blog/post.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

I've just been to college.

2010-05-15T16:20:00.002+04:00

I expect to see morons from all around, but to think there are actually idiots who does not know how to play 3 legged race game, that's epic.

Also, a priceless encounter with T-jun Git happened. He was awesome at navigation, such that he entered the college, walked back to the entrance, and re-entered the college. Fucking awesome.

Kenneth officially became a total retard there, not to mention after I exposed the fact that he IS a Mexican to everyone there, he started to speak Spanish.

It seems like the universe is against me.

2010-04-29T16:54:00.004+04:00

I was sent to serve the Malaysian Army for about 3 months directly after my SPM examination. When I was back at March, I thought I could finally compensate for the time I wasted there by going to my pc until 10th of May which is when my college life starts, but guess what, the guy with a halo on his head sitting up there is pissed at me for god-knows-what reason. He sent a bolt of doom with around 1337 million volts down onto my house, blasting my pc to pieces. I was relieved that the PC still has warranty which allows me to fix the pc. The thing is, since my motherboard virtually doesn't exist anymore they need around a month to make one for me.

As the greatest zen master of this universe, I slowly meditated through the month to await the Nirvana that is SUPPOSED to come back to me. It's been around a month and a week since then I guess, thus I ask my Super Intelligent Genius Prodigy Einsteinious Hawking Earthbound God Brother of mine about the condition of the pc, since it's SUPPOSED to be back by now.

"There's still another month to go, where got so fast."

Hey, I'm pretty sure that I've been fasting for around 40 days like Jesus in the desert. Thus I said "It's been a month."

"Huh? Where got 1 month, it takes 2 month la."

Awesome, he extended the fixing timing without telling anybody, I could've used the money the Government gave me to buy a new motherboard and clear numerous games while killing time the way it should be. Guess what, it just didn't happen, I've been living in an extended National Service all the while.

I told him to buy a new motherboard, but he said he has no money. I get it in a way, after all he bought back an awesome game, it's called Winning Eleven, which had been called that from the first game. Yes, there's no such thing as "Winning One", or the sequel "Winning Two" only "Winning Eleven". I still gotta say it's an awesome game for Playstation 3, lemme show an example of the gameplay.

But it wouldn't be complete if there isn't a gameplay video of it right?

I've been playing this game for the whole time, I gotta say Zidane is a very powerful character to use, with his ultimate skill "Headbutt", he could annihilate the final hidden boss with power level of over 9000 "Mate-something-".

If I'm not wrong a PS3 controller cost as much as a computer motherboard. Ah well.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

Introducing: The Kawasaki Ninja 250R

2010-04-27T04:30:00.014+04:00

Behold, the ultimate sexiness of the most powerful of all kapcai bikes ever created.

Can't get enough of the first pic? Here is a close up shot.

the left hand side- which includes the clutch, lights adjustments, and signal indicator.

the right hand side- notice the engine and electric starter, front wheel brake, and the throttle.

the right side- your right foot taps down the rear wheel brakes if you wanna.

the left side- kickstand to support the bike, and gear changing over gere. Tap down to increase gear and pull up to slow down.

I bet you didin't notice the dirt below the fairing. I understand why.

front veiw of the rider and pillion seats.

I just came. Again. And again.

Noticed the monolock? Do you even know what the heck a monolock is?

Who the fuck is that ugly pig sitting on my bike? Better get him off quick, before he pees on the beautiful paint!
From left; petrol gauge indicator and engine temperature, speedometer, RPM meter.

My dad just came back from work with the bike. Please forgive him. Ill be washing this baby the coming weekend (hopefully)

kawasaki nunchucks. Refer to my Chuck Norris post for more info.

Funny thing about the front lights are the fact that the left one is the low light, whereas the righty is the high light. However, both look the same anyway. FYI, all supersports bikes have this special characteristic of retarded lights. I thought the fucking thing was spoiled when it arrived.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Tjun git should take his showing-off lessons from me. Either that or he better get a proper camera that actually takes clear pictures. Like my brandy newy one which I fucking used to take all these pics of my brandy newy sportbike. I can read minds, so fuck you all back. Yeah baby!

PS; A picture paints a thousand words. I just gave you 16. So shut the fuck up and enjoy them. Yeah, you're welcome.

It seems like there are a lot of morons in this world that doesn't know that the world does not revolve around them.

2010-04-24T21:49:00.002+04:00

Obviously, the world cannot revolve around anybody, the worlds are dangling between my legs after all.

Read this post
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/04/24/teen-rape-victim-petitions-for-rapelay-ban/

I laid my eyes in that post because it says something about a 14 year old rape victim got raped or something. As a true PedoBear I have to protect all young girls from bad bad things, thus I checked it out. Turns out that I gave a damn to the wrong person.

Let me describe the rape victim :
She's fat, really fat
She's fat, really fat
She's fat, really fat
She's fat, really fat
She's fat, really fat
She's fat, really fat
She's fat, really fat

Also never to forget this :
She looks worse than a pig-dog-demon-titan-fat woman hybrid.

Back to the point of this post. I'm just trying to say, I really pity that dude. No, not that fat woman, but the real rape victim, the rapist. Poor guy must had his dick annihilated down to the last cells when he did it with her (I think he's lacking of Vitamin A, making his night vision sucky and unable to judge her before raping).

I'm also pissed at that bitch because she daresay she's a "victim" and a "survivor". Dude, it's not like you're raped and the moment that dude pulled his dick off your pussy you're dead and Jesus will be standing in front of you saying "My child, since you're a poor rape victim I shall allow you to enter the Kingdom of Heaven" or something like that. Not only she can't sing, she hog up a whole news section.

I gotta say, I don't get what's wrong on the other side of the world (namely Amerika, misspelling wasn't unintentional). They just have more and more rape case or sex case or anything of that level, and guess what, every single motherfucker involves LOOK LIKE SHIT, wait, my shit is sexier than them, THEY LOOK LIKE -Insert the xxx something whatever hybrid I mentioned earlier here- . Seriously, the victims are always shitty people, maybe because of that they deserve it.

I don't know what else to say...

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Dont read; Highly Depressing Post (NOT EMO)

2010-04-24T20:03:00.004+04:00

It seems that ive been neglecting this blog (although less than my other one) for too long now, and topping the fact that Dan has finally composed a post after his 5 month haitus, it would be proper for me to piss him off and make another post right after his one. And guess what, thats exactly what ill do! Unfortunately though, I dont really know what to talk about, plus its already 12 o' cock, and i estimate ill be done only around 3am, so I think ill update you guys from the last time since I last made a post here.

First of all, I couldnt prove my manliness to the bitch that sold me a faux Mp3, so I paid 40 extra bucks and upgraded it to a better one. So far since, its been functioning normally without issues, so im fine with that. Ive got proper reasons to boast, as my dad gave me his second-hand 2K camera that still functions as if spankingly new and he got a supersports bike (for himself) but I had the chance to test it out. Sweet shit, the acceleration made me feel 50 times lighter. I also got a RM30, black, testicle-shaped loudspeaker from the latest pc fair (coz my laptop sound system was soft and heavily static, despite being 3 months old) and a RM48 in-ear headphone, as the original one that came together with my MP3 hurt my fucking ears. The new heady sounded worse, muffled static and shit. Now I wonder why I did not get that RM170 Philips headset sold in the pc fair, I assume it wouldve been more worth it (noise-cancelling, mutha!). I also got a 640GB hard drive for Rm320, but that was for my sister, and had a fight with a college mate concerning the fact that a hard drive and a hard disk were the same goddamn thing. I won. I also had an argument with him the very next day about the similarity between a pendrive and a thumbdrive. I won again.

But what am I to boast about, Nic got (another) 4K desktop for himself identical to his bros one, plus hes considering buying a PS3 and how much he would save if he bought a XBox instead. Both his machines didint need to wait for a pc fair to save for it. I think they might actually have access to military radio waves and be able to remotely control an Apache gun-chopper over Afghanistan to smoke a few unlucky Jihadists during his free time, who knows? Dan got an awesome 1.2K brand new PS3, with an equally brand new 42-inch flatscreen, widescreen, plasma television which his mom claimed helped her to enjoy her chinese dramas and cooking shows better. It also had external hardpoints for it to be fitted with missiles, rocket launchers and other forms of ordnance. Dan's CPU will be arriving soon from its factory most probably be pimped up sexier than it already was. And you know what, the both of them actually showed up at the pc fair to mock the poor peasants (like me) who were there to actually do some value purchases and save cash and promote practicality. Then they both went off to have a burger, JERKS!

Also, my mid-year A-Levels exam will be coming up shortly about 8 days from now, which sucks as I havnt had a single inspiration to actually do some revision for my exams and always end up on my frequently-hanging/lagging netbook to watch some prawn, youtube or post pointless messages like this one on someone else's blog. Its actually because I cant afford my own blog, figuratively speaking. Even now, im supposed to be doing some quality work but I just ended up on my lappy, too bored of staring at artificial-looking titties and cartoon shit so I decided to do this, hoping it would be exciting to post something in this place after so long. Well, guess what? I. was. wrong. Plus ive got this crazy (cute-ish) kinda chick that has been stalking me around college with unclear intentions and always calling me 'hubby' for no apparent reason, dont believe me, check the 'comments' bar. Nuff said. The Law subject is fucking boring, Business is simple logic, I always sleep in Economics and General Paper is SPM English. E-Nuff said. I just visited my college library for the first time, 4 months after starting my course (coz I didint know where it was) and almost fainted when I saw that one whole fucking floor was dedickated to the Law subject-lets not talk about the others. I plan to keep avoiding that place of mental-torture as long as I possibly can. Ah! And I also sleep 2 hours a night, and 15 hours a day everyday/night. So ive become a fucking insomniac.

I also missed the FUCKING MILITARY ARMS EXHIBIT at Pootra Whurl Tread Center this week, where my big sis told me that military chicks from all over the world, mostly RUSSIA attended that fair and tested out combat ready assault rifles from Smith and Wesson, but it wasnt all only about hand-held firearms as military personnel from all over the globe were also trading full-scale REAL-LIFE AAM, AGM, SAM BALLISTIC MISSILES, ALL KINDA OF EXPLOSIVE LASER-GUIDED BOMBS, LIVE AMMUNITION, MUTHAFUCKING FIGHTER JETS, ARMOURED TANKS, GUNNER CHOPPERS AND GODKNOWWHATMORE! The Star newspaper couldnt even give me a clear picture of that exhibit, showing scaled down models of mentioned weapons and local chicks (whom looked like Petaling Street whores) today. Which sucked even worse. not only did I miss the best day of my life, I wasnt even allowed to envision it properly, all thanks to Star. Fuck Star, and fuck DefTech (our local defense company). My sister only got free a cap with its brand name engraved on it. Not even an Ak, not even a single 7.62 round. You know what, screw life. Im gonna kill myself now. Hows that for a depressing post. Not bad methinks.

Fuck humanitarianism!

2010-04-22T20:26:00.002+04:00

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/04/22/mercy-for-mother-who-murdered-son/

I read in the post and realized that the world is really getting stupider and stupider. What this world needs is a ruler with Iron Fist, ability to eliminate every existing "useless" humans such as the "vegetable" mentioned in the Sankaku post.

One thing retarded about this world is that humans cling too much onto emotion, they don't know that life comes before emotion. Fuck things like "He's not officially dead, we cannot kill him even though he's suffering". Many cases where people are degenerated till he wanted to die but not allowed to, even movies and stories show this kind of situation, watch Million Dollar Baby (It's very boring though).

These act are like pumping 5 slug rounds onto somebody's guts and say "I think I shouldn't kill you, you must live!". According to most people, they say it is right to keep people alive and mercy killing are wrong. Let me tell you then, keeping people alive in their degenerated state is a cruel way of torture, it's like stealing a singer's voice away from him, scarring an actor's face, or easiest way of explaining : Cutting off the testicle and penis of a porn star.

Save for people like Hawkins (who is useful as he at least can talk and share knowledge unlike others lying in the hospital like fucking living corpse).

If you still think it's wrong to do mercy killing, allow me to ask you this : Have you ever heard of coup de grâce?

If you truly want to love somebody, don't let the suffer you fucking dumbfucks, not only they waste resources (oxygen is fucking limited thanks to the way we use fossil fuels) they hate living at that point.

Writer's block...OF SHI'ITE!

2010-03-13T19:56:00.004+03:00

Just so you know, if you've realised that my previous bike post had been abruptly ended, its because my epiphany momentarily left me at that point in time. I shall be continuing my post with lots of funky photos once my epiphany decides to find me again.

Philips music players blow chunky poo.

2010-03-13T17:54:00.002+03:00

WHAT THE FUCK. WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
This is soooooo goddamn epic. You guys will never ever form a mental picture of how pissed I am right now. MY BRAND NEW (APPROX 3 HOURS OLD) MP3 PLAYER HAS JUST FUCKED UP! and by fucked up, I mean hanged. Like a fucking integrated single-core PC. Like Tjun's common sense/humour. Yeah, just like that. And also just like that, THE FUCKING JAMMED PIECE OF SHIT IS IRREVERSIBLE! WHAT THE FUCKETY-FUCK-FUCK! What kinda comsumer service is this? As of now, ive tried everything I can possibly do to fix it, including trying all the buttons on the damned vibrator in order to get it unhanged, plugging it into my laptop, plugging it and unplugging it repeatedly, etc, etc. But the thing just cant budge.

So here is how it all started. Only yesterday, Nic, Dan, and I were hanging out in Lowyat Plaza because I wanted to buy a new MP3 player for myself (my trusty Sony Walkman (RM300) got eaten up by my cousin's dog, plus the ultra-fucking brand new headphones (RM50) I bought separately, were also consumed bit-by-bit by the fucking sunnovabiatch) so we went to the second highest floor where the largest of all stores (VIEWNET COMPUTER SYSTEM SDN. BHD. go sue them if you feel like it) in the Plaza was situated. While Dan and Nic went over to check out the funky PC accesories to pimp up their pcs, I went over to a counter and asked for the most value-for-money MP3 sold there. The over-madeup bitch at the counter showed me a 2GB memory, 450 songs, easily adaptable to any software, voice rec, FM radio Philips MP3 player. She told me that it was on a limited offer crazy discount sale at the time, costing only RM100. Thinking that it was a good buy, I immediately purchased it. That bitch fumbled over the warranty documents that were compulsory with the player (thank gawd for the warranty shit, now I have a right legally to kick their asses) on which I hurriedly signed, thinking that I would never regret my value buy (fuck me sideways). How wrong I was, for when I left the shithole of a tech centre, I started using the headphones first for my laptop since I was too lazy to sync songs into the player at once. So there goes my delayed wrath.

Now zoom back to the present, I decided to load some songs into the junk product before heading out for dinner today, thinking of testing it through the car ride. So I loaded 10 songs into it first and headded out. At once I realised that I had been ripped off, with the heavily pixellated screen often lagging (can you fucking believe it? lagging!) and glitching when I changed options on the on-screen menu. I was actually partially okay with that at first, thinking that I still had a good bargain on the shitthang. Then it started acting weird with the volume control, jumping 10000 decibles louder when I tipped it a single time, and I had to jam the button to lower the volume, (btw, the speaker that came together with the player were shit static, with the numbness of a flashbang ring in your ears) also from a barely audible volume to automatically rising to a crecendo of screaming pussies. Not nice, I tell you. But still, I dealt with it. However, when it came to my fifth song on the playlist, IT SUDDENLY FUCKING JAMMED! For me and my sanity at that point of time, we both totally lost it together, I almost yelled 'YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN KIDDIN MEEEEE!' at the fucking inanimate object that I held in my shaking hands. Now let me describe the level of screwedness of my player: the song just stopped playing after 2secs, but the sreen kept it at that 2secs and didint go off. Heck, it didint even change at all! It just simply hanged, like a computer screen. And as I said earlier, I did a shitload of stuff to get it working again, but all my efforts were to no avail. So upon my reaching home, I frantically searched for my warranty cards and carefully packed the digital trash into its packaging nicely again (shit, its right in front of me with the lousy screen still glaring at me coz I cant get it to fucking off itself, fuck it.) still mantaining its permanent, 2secs into the song-state. And I pray (can you believe it, for once, im actually praying!) that Dan will read this, so I can hitch a ride with him to college next week, and stop by at Lowyat to kick some corporate ass. And I swear since the only way to counter-fuck this player is by leaving it till its internal battery dries up, im not even gonna try to fix it, just sue, sue and sue.

I know by now at this point, you guys are gonna doubt my sanity, hell yeah you are right, but I aint lost my logic yet. Shit like 'But Kenneth, RM100 isnt such a big deal, just learn your lesson and buy a new, better quality one', or 'Why make such a big fuss over a small thing? You can always go over (and over again) to Lowyat whenever you want, and get a replacement (over and over again) too!', or even shit like 'Ken, Its your own bloody fault for phailing to choose a better, more reliable one and getting an obviously shitty quality good based on your own stingyness, without considering to fact of shelf-life durability, so fuck you, and your own anal retentiveness for caring so much about your money, you stupid dumbfuck cibai loser asshole lame bad luck motherfucker, and just GO BURN IN HELL, MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Firstly, I have learnt my lesson, but it isnt about lesson learning, more about my own shitty luck as I have been this unlucky 4 times before. I just choose to give a damn right now, as I have no initiative to do anything before. I just guess its the adrenaline of my pissedoffiness that causes me to finally get my ass moving and actually fuelling my giveadamness. This only happens rarely, but when it does, I make it a point to sqeeeze the life out of those who dare to (coincidentally) rip me off again. Secondly, I aint as rich as anyone who asks the first question. I am a college student, not a pampered bitch that has his/her parents pay his/her way into elite universities and ultimately do nothing but continue to screw up his/her life and also the reputation of said education ministries. What the hell am I talking about, now im rambling. So tha point is, I cant afford to waste any cash, you get it. Ill make sure ya do if ya dont, just tell me please.
For the second question, I live 1.5hours from KL city centre, and commute across the city by train everyday and honestly, I consider this a waste of life. Refer to Keris Ah Lan (Kris Allen) if you dont get me. And to get to Lowyat, there are two ways. The first is to take the Star LRT line to Hang Tuah station (1000 stations from Bukit Jalil) and walk the scorching 7 minutes to Times Square, go through the mall, use the overhead bridge, walk some more, and reach the back of Lowyat. The second option is to take the Star LRT line straight past Hang Tuah station, reach Masjid Jamek, change lines to the underground Masjid Jamek station of Putra LRT (same company, different name), travel till the KLCC station, walk through KLCC, go through the carpark, walk along a damn long road till you reach Pavillion, walk through Pavilion, turn right, walk for about 10 mins more, turn left, walk through the back alley of Sungai Wang Plaza, then you will see both Berjaya Times Square and Lowyat facing each other. Well, obviously you would choose option 1, unless you're me. Ive tried both routes, and both are killer routes. Both consume alot of money, time, and energy. If you choose option 2, you can also stop at Dang Wangi station (Putra LRT line), then take the KL Monorail from that station to Jalan Imbi, which is literally below Times Square. ON the other hand, you can also take the Monorail from Hang Tuah station to Times Square if you choose option 1, but that consequently leads to me calling you a pussy. Mega pussy. As a conclusion, I really think that I cant just 'waltz over' to Lowyat anytime I like, as even by using the pub(l)ic transport, there is still a lot of walking involved, and heck no, I wont be allowing this screw up to happen again. A journey to Lowyat once will kill me, let alone two or more. Even if you consider using a car, the before work/lunchtime/after work traffic jams will certainly kill you more than walking+using pubic transport. So feel for me, douchbags.
For the third comment, I wouldnt think anyone but Daniel would think of shooting such a lame argument at me. As I quote my LAW(L) textbook, "In the law of contract, where one person buys a digital television from a shop each party will have rights and duties under this contract. For example, the shop has the right to be paid the agreed price for the TV, while the buyer has the right to have a set which is in working order." unquote. Source: The English Legal System. I rest my case. Quot Erat Demonstratum. I have rights, and the sohai MP3 seller has a duty towards my satisfaction on his product as well, and thats how the world goes round. Fuck yeah.

Now back to my story, I can still see my fucking MP3 still on and still displaying the same screen properties it had always been doing. its battey hasnt died yet. Sigh. I feel like throwing it, if that was the only resolution into fixing its damned problem. Lastly, I plan to ask for a replacement player, but I predict that all the birds of a flock suck together (thats why its on cheap sale, mischevious fuckers) so the whole product line mustblow brotherly as well. I also dont trust the outlet too. What if I get another player, and it sucks as much as the previous one? I dont wanna waste anymore life to go through all the hassle again! So I will demand a refund, money-back guarantee, of ill fuck that prosthetic bitch in the ass. Im already pissed off enough. RM100 IS alot of cash, in my opinion.

PS. Its already 1am in the morn, and all my anger has been successfully radiated from my eyes to this post. It took me as much effort as it would take to piss Tjun Git off on a regular boring day, so dont enjoy it if you dont want to, its your right. And it is also my right to not care about your views so who gives a damn! Anyway, Ill keep you guys updated when I smash that bitch in the kisser sometime next week, (I doubt whether Ill have enough energy at the time to do so, so please support me) so we will keep in touch. Rate, comment and subscribe. Peace up and AIDS too.

So close, yet sohai.

2010-03-09T08:46:00.003+03:00

Yeah, last week Saturday, which was approximately 2 days ago I went with my dad on my remotely brand-new, definitely sweet piece of superbikingness to our dealer's workshop for its second monthly checkup. It was boringly cool along the way, with us zooming past tons of 150cc commuter bikes who only had a chance to glimpse at us. It wa pure clean fun untile we both got to the workshop. Previously, on the Ninjas' 1st servicing appointment, the workshop had been speed testing a white ZX-10R, w itthe usual ZX-6Rs sitting on display at the front of the shop. There were the Kawasaki ER-6N, ER-6F (revised, supersports version of the 6N, with funkier headlights), plus new 2009 models- the Z750, a substantial sport/road vehicle. The regulars, KLX150S, its big brotha the KLX450R, and last but not least, the sports-touring Kawasaki ZZR1400. There was a sweet Ninja 250R with really pimped out bodywork and a customised exhaust system, plus and Aprilia RSV Millie with 1000cc bestiality in it. Well, that was just last week.

This week however, the other guests were a hell lotta in terms of number and power. And for once, I actually felt smaller and weaker. Touche. To begin wui

How idiotic Americans can get on Youtube.

2010-02-24T16:43:00.003+03:00

My my, hasnt it been quite a long time since I had last posted anything on this godforsaken blog? Well, I guess its time for me to (again) bring this shit back to life. With grave reference to the head title, I have finally found another valid reason to blog, that is, to start insulting other innocent people as usual. Sadly though, this new prey of mine really seems to be an idiot. And when I say idiot, I mean it not as an insult, but more to a descriptive front, aka im just being honest. After all, he is an American, what else do I need to say?

Scenario
Okay, so it merely starts with me visiting a gameplay video of the game 'Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2' which was posted by the most visited/commented/invited/subscribed channel on Youtube, MACHINIMA. So it seems that this nedneck fool decided to sell his gameplay vid to Machinima in order for him to gain international recognition as one of Machinima's recommendated gamers. It did work well for him and his channel and his uber huge ego as well. However, I recently chanced upon his video being posted by Machinima. It was nothing at first, with me complimenting him on his skill in the game, but what happened next can only be explained to you guys through copy pasta. Behold!

zohanthecspro (5 days ago) Show Hide +1 Marked as spam
Reply Remove wow. i never was so impressed of a Cod4 player as much as Kyle. At least he knows the specs of the weapon he uses. Most CoD4 dipshits dont even know the difference between a 5.56 and a 7.62. Heck, some even dont know what im talking about.

the rest of the conversation, beginning with the maker of the video replying back to my comment was a bit of a jumble up. So here it is. Please read it preferably from the top to bottom. Or just mix and match, which ever that makes the argument sound logical. Thanks.

klm5986 (7 hours ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Spam What are you talking about not that it matters but I own most of the weapons in this game. And CoD4 took more skill to play than whatever rock you crawled out from under maybe thats why it was actually played on the pcl.

zohanthecspro (1 hour ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove Firstly, I said MOST of the people who played this game dont know dick bout the real weapons used. That did not apply to you but if you want so much to be hailed as a dipshit, thats absolutely fine with me. Secondly, I did not diss this game at all, heck I even complimented it. Did i say that this game doesnt require skill? Failed. Thirdly, if youre using your lame comment to me as a double motive to brag about your personal belongings, may I suggest to use other guys comments. You suck balls.

zohanthecspro (1 hour ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove And btw, i was just wondering, HOW THE HELL DO YOU COMPARE VIDEOGAMES WITH ROCKS? and HOW THE HELL DO I PLAY WITH A ROCK WITH THE SAME MANNER ID DO TOWARDS A VIDEOGAME? wow, your reply is so full of phailure. I dont understand, NOT THAT IT MATTERS? WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY THAT DID NOT MATTER? and pls define the word 'own' for me. Do you mean owning as skillfully handling the gun in the game, or do you actually mean to tell me that you have a Stinger n a Javelin hidden under your toolshed? Bull.

klm5986 (1 hour ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Spam Your first comment was so poorly written I wasnt sure if English was your first language so a misundstanding was inevitable. By the way if I suck so bad why are you watching my video?

zohanthecspro (1 hour ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove Firstly, i never said you sucked. Never. Stop hallucinating please. You make me sick. You might be good, but a delusional pro is just a waste of intellect. Secondly, if this is your video, why are you periodically visiting it? Are you that insecure to other peoples views on your videos? If that is so, then why do you expose your skills without the strength to endure open criticism from other people? Then you might as well just keep the records to yourself and stop making a fool of yourself.

klm5986 (1 hour ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Spam Now I know for sure that english isnt your first language its called a figure of speach. I mean "own" as in Ive got an M16 in my closet. I own a lot of the guns in this game including the AK-47, USP, M9, M1014, and the FAL. As Ive said before english isnt your first language so its doubtful you're from the US where all you need is a license and the cash to buy these guns. I suggest you either stop arguing or go get a translator because this is kind of funny now.

zohanthecspro (1 hour ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove Again, I never said that I owned any of these guns, I merely asked you for verbal confirmation. (and thanks btw for your explanation) Also, I think I can very well spell SPEECH more accurately than you can. Thats embarrasing to know that a redneck American born and raised by one language only and also looks down on other people that do not converse in the same dialect as his does not even know how to spell a simple and common English term. (let alone pronounce it properly) Its sad, really.

klm5986 (1 hour ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Spam LMAO, you're pointing out the one word I misspelled? Every one of your sentences is filled with incorrect grammar and misspelled words, I just woke up whats your excuse? By the way this "redneck American" speaks 3 languages FLUENTLY. So if you'd prefer to continue in Spanish or Russian let me know. The fact that you think the "a" I accidently put in "speech" would be pronounced just goes to prove my point. Have a nice day Ken.

zohanthecspro (58 minutes ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove Typical. You simply forget all those fake accusations that you have shot at me and only stress on the lame boast (the second bullshit no reason brag, currently) that you have randomly produced even though I never challenged you to do so. I just simply dont get what you are hitting at. I cant even consider this a proper argument. You're just too retarded to be classified as an opponent for me. Its just so pitiful, really. And by your challenge, English is my mother tongue. You can tell, cant you?

klm5986 (53 minutes ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Spam If english is your "mother tongue" then you shouldnt be calling anyone retarded. I havent shot any "fake accusations" at you. You're just too stupid to get it, by the way Im gonna keep replying to you because every time you post a comment here or refresh the page you're actually giving me money, because as I said before this is my video.

zohanthecspro (44 minutes ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove Let me clarify my comments. I never said; you suck at this game/ this match blows/ MW2 didint require skills/ that you did not own any weapons/ I lived under a rock/ I played with a rock as I wouldve done to a videogame/ English was a second language to me/ that you have ass cancer and the inability to take a shit/ rocks require no skill to play with them/ I wanted to buy the same weapons that you own. In fact, I complimented you in my first comment, dont you realise that by now? Jeezus!

klm5986 (39 minutes ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Spam You're still talking about the rock thing huh? Its a figure of speach google it, and I very well may have misunderstood your first comment because as I keep saying I can barely make sense of anything you say. At this rate you're gonna make me enough money to buy lunch so keep commenting please.

zohanthecspro (29 minutes ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove Misunderstood? How can my words of praise be misunderstood as an insult towards you? Thats funny, I complimented you of your vast knowledge of real weapons and the rounds they use, and you repliy to me with random insults. I dont get how my compliment was viewed by as an insult. Please explain. Im waiting for your answer.

klm5986 (25 minutes ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Spam Your original comment was so poorly worded, I couldnt tell who you were insulting, but as it is my video I just assumed it was me. If not then I apologize, enjoy the videos.

zohanthecspro (20 minutes ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam
Reply Remove Okay, let me DIRECTLY COPY PASTE MY FIRST COMMENT FOR YOU TO RE-INTERPRET IT. HERE GOES; wow. i never was so impressed of a Cod4 player as much as Kyle. At least he knows the specs of the weapons he uses. Most CoD4 dipshits dont even know the difference between a 5.56 and a 7.62. Heck, some even dont even know what im talking about. NOW DOES THAT SOUND LIKE AN INSULT TO YOU? THE DIPSHITS I WAS REFERRING TO WERE NOT YOU. I WAS KISSING YOUR VIRTUAL ASS FOR FREE AND YOU DECIDED TO FUCK ME UP.

In the end, I had to conclude that the only reason why he couldnt understand my grammar was because my standard of English was far more advanced than his. So sad, that the ignorant lift their heads proudly and thus accept their ignorance without regret, even at which opportunity is granted upon them by superior beings far greater than they can possibly imagine (me), in order to offer them an opportunity to expand their limitations. After my last message, he suddenly refused to reply to my comments and kept mum. So I paid his channel a visit and posted this;

zohanthecspro (1 second ago) Spam Marked as spam Dude, what yer just did to me wasnt cool, bro. It just aint right for a nigga to diss his own brotha. It just aint right, it aint fair. Yo just bouncin around, dissin dudes that dont deserve to be slapped in the face, it aint nice, yknow. After all, imma lookin up to ya, imma respictin ya, imma praisin ya, and what for? Yall just punchin the teeth outta my mouth fer nuthin. That aint nice. Imma thinkin twice from now on, to differentiate between the dudes who appreciate mah words of praise and people like ya who dont give a shit bout what I respect about ya. Cuz afta all, niggas like urself dont really care bout shits like me. Now aint that right?

Now I think im really fucking with his brain. Im so full of win. And in the end, he apologised, as all the weaklings do. This is so far the 8th Youtube victory for me.

PS. I think ill just go back to insulting Pedobear for now, I must always start with the very weak slaves first.

I'm (temporarily) back from National Service.

2010-02-12T08:21:00.000+03:00

After being away from my pc for such a fucking long time, I realized that my English and typing skeelz sucked A LOT. When I haz re-acquired teh skeelz, I shall make an awesome post about what I've seen during my service.

Facts about Chuck Norris, (with reference to Amal's Twilight post)

2010-01-18T03:34:00.002+03:00

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

If you can see CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS can see you. If you can't see him, you may be seconds away from death

There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of species that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.

Once Chuck Norris went to the Superbowl. He beat the Steelers 45 Ð 3.

Chuck Norris never wears a motorcycle helmet. The concrete always scoots out of the way.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Unless Chuck Norris is on the other side, in which case the grass is soaked with blood and tears.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

There are in fact five elemental forces; Strong, weak, electromagnetic, gravitation and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has been dead for years. Death is afraid to come get him.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is now measuring tropical storms and hurricanes in categories of Norris Roundhouse Kicks (NRK).

Chuck Norris bends light through sheer willpower.

The driving method portrayed by the Flintstones was actually pioneered by Chuck Norris. Chuck was unable to find an engine that would be able to power his vehicle via either beard or roundhouse kick. Chuck instead roundhouse kicks the ground in a flutter motion, thereby propelling his vehicle forward at a high rate of speed. This has led to Chuck winning the Nextel Cup since its' inception.

Chuck Norris came to my BBQ last summer, ate all the red hot charcoal out of the grill and then proceeded to fart out large diamonds for the ladies in the awe-struck crowd.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Darkness is not the absence of light. It is the presence of Chuck Norris.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Chuck Norris punched himself in the face.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's hassles.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Due to Chuck Norris, stars also have comet-like trails, but no one on earth can see them. Comets have visible trails because the roundhouse kick that sent them flying has warped our perception of spacetime.

When Chuck Norris needs new clothes, he stares down raw textiles. They become terrified and weave themselves into garments.

Chuck Norris once ate a RubricÕs Cube, and pooped it out solved.

As well as being an actor, martial artist, and poet, Chuck Norris is also a world renowned physicist. It was in this capacity that he once had a disagreement about steady-state theory with Stephen Hawking. Hence the wheelchair.

While filming Lone Wolf McQuade, Chuck Norris discovered the Unified Field Theory of Physics while eating a cheese danish. Chuck realized that the world was not ready for this information, so he wrote the equations on the cheese danish and threw it into an elliptical orbit which takes it past the orbit of Neptune. Every 65 years the danish will return until Man is ready for the knowledge.

Black holes are stars hiding from the gaze of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't dance. Because if he did, the space-time continuum would rip, and all life on Earth would cease.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

Chuck Norris can make a traffic light change, merely by staring at it long enough.

Once Chuck Norris was so impressed with the power of his roundhouse kick that he neglected to control it, and the resulting tear in the fabric of space-time took him back almost a century and a half.

Upon arriving in the 19th century, Chuck was astounded that, given his obvious ability to travel through time, the mortals present hadn't heard of him. In his rage, he began kicking people into the sun, and both the Union and the Confederacy sent armies to stop him. This was the real cause of all the deaths at Gettysburg.

After defeating both countries, Chuck Norris used his roundhouse-kicking time travel to journey into the future. Dismayed that he was only considered a demigod by our posterity, he destroyed the future with a series of grunts and glares. This is why no one from the future has come back in time to our present.

Despite the fact that his immense kicking prowess had completely obliterated creation itself, Chuck's power was so great that that entropy wouldn't touch him. With a final roundhouse kick, Chuck went back to the nothingness at the beginning of time, and set the universe back in motion with a spinning roundhouse; this was the Big Bang.

Chuck Norris created the entire socio-political ideology of Communism in 34 minutes, just to have somebody to kill in the movie "Invasion USA".

Chuck Norris can fly, he simply chooses not to.

The US doesn't launch satellites. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks them into orbit.

Chuck Norris once looked at a black hole, which caused it to turn into a white dwarf from pure terror.

When a germ or infection enters Chuck Norris' bloodstream, his white blood cells simply stare at it, and it leaves.

When Sartre said "hell is other people", he was actually talking about Chuck Norris. He just said "other people" to avoid offending Chuck Norris.

After renting Delta Force on DVD, Stanley Kubrick cried uncontrollably for 2 weeks straight. He held a little known press conference, while crying, in which he stated that "the filmmaking industry has no reason to exist anymore, and I have no reason to make films. I will retire now, ashamed of my meek accomplishments, and try to find a career that I can succeed in." He died that night. The official doctor's diagnosis: A broken heart

"Chuck Norris" is a safe word that works for all jungle beasts.

Black cats do not cross Chuck Norris' path.

When Chuck Norris' remote control batteries die, the remote continues to function out of pure terror.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as John Morgan in the movie "A Man Called Horse". Richard Harris only got the role once it was discovered that no blade could penetrate Chuck Norris' chest.

That giant crater in Australia was formed when Chuck Norris' parachute didn't open. After impact, Chuck Norris promptly dusted off his flannel shirt and jeans and walked across the Pacific Ocean to Los Angeles.

For every answer on the SAT test, write in "Chuck Norris". You will automatically score a 1600.

Chuck Norris is the sound of one hand clapping.

Chuck Norris has never been beaten. The only reason people stopped worshipping the old gods was that it became apparent that Chuck Norris would easily defeat the forces of chaos at the Ragnarok, so there was little point in worrying about it ourselves.

Chuck Norris once hit a little-known actor named Bart Eubanks so hard that he's still swollen and black and blue from head to toe to this very day; this man is now known as Mr. T.

Chuck Norris once kicked his training bag so hard that the shockwave traveled halfway around the world; this is what made George Bush vomit in the lap of a Japanese politician.

Global warming isn't caused by human emissions; Chuck Norris simply scares ozone.

The only reason there's a Gulf of Mexico is that Chuck Norris wanted beachfront property for his ranch in Texas. The moment he decided this, a quarter of the continent sunk to avoid a roundhouse kick.

There is no such thing as a tornado, Chuck Norris just really hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris shot Liberty Valence. After he roundhouse kicked him.

The Titanic sank when it struck Chuck Norris doing laps in the North Atlantic. Chuck Norris would have stopped to save the survivors but he didn't notice the impact.

Chuck Norris once tried to use Occam's Razor. The universe imploded, but Norris' beard was untouched.

Chuck Norris can eat only one Lays potato chip.

Chuck Norris once got a flat tire on the New Jersey Turnpike. That's why he made the rest of the country hate New Jersey. They've been collecting tolls ever since in hopes of raising enough payoff money in case it ever happens again.

Once, a NASCAR engine builder used Chuck Norris' chest hairs instead of titanium valve lifter springs. His car won, of course.

Chuck Norris looked into a mirror and saw the only thing that could ever frighten him. He then roundhouse kicked his image so hard that the mirror got all sticky like in the Matrix or that video from the 80s when you find out the mirror is really water. Because of the obvious result of disproving both Goedel's Incompleteness Theorem and String Theory. David Hasselhoff emerged from the pieces of mirror, much like what happened to Ash when he went back in time, only much cooler.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bad memory. Anything he forgets never happened.

When Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier, he saw Chuck Norris sitting in a LA-Z Boy on the other side.

Chuck Norris breaks EPA regulations on greenhouse gas emissions every time he exhales.

Chuck Norris knows how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. One time, a man tricked Chuck Norris into divulging this secret. That man's name was James Hoffa.

In Hollywood, they once tried to get impressions of Chuck Norris' fists in cement. The result is called the San Andreas Fault.

Chuck Norris talks about Fight Club.

Chuck Norris was crossing the road one day and invented the short bus.

Upon the explosion of the Exxon-Valdez oil tanker in 1989, President Bush asked Chuck Norris to assist in the cleanup. Upon this, Chuck Norris drank the oil. He then took an Eskimo as his bride. This is where Yeti come from.

There is no Santa Claus. Actually, on Christmas Eve, Chuck Norris circumnavigates the globe in his pickup truck dispensing gifts to good children and roundhouse kicks to bad ones. The children, upon receiving these kicks, die.

An indestructible element has been discovered and added to the periodic table of elements. Norrisite. And just out of spite, Chuck Norris roundhoused kicked it, compressing it into a higher quantum state. It's there, or not there, or there AND not there.

Chuck Norris Federal Credit Union (CNFCU) has no collections department. The dumbest man alive isn't dumb enough to default on a payment to CNFCU.

In 1942, Chuck Norris was an experimental rocket-plane test pilot. His first flight lost control at forty-two thousand feet and crashed. Emergency response personnel were greeted by a roundhouse kick to the face through the smoke. One man's helmet flew off and achieved orbit. The Soviet Union named it Sputnik.

Chuck Norris holds the world record for the most honorary college degrees, he has every degree for every college worldwide. Not that he wants them, but they were given on the off chance that he might.

On June 30, 1908, Chuck Norris was sampling some spicy native cuisine in northern Siberia. It's a fact. Google the "Tunguska Event".

It's a little known, but well documented fact that on Mount Rushmore, over 50% of George Washington's face is in fact spray painted bondo. Someone made the mistake of betting Chuck Norris that he couldn't eat rocks, and he proved him really, really wrong.

Chuck Norris was once stopped at a military checkpoint in western Russia. Moments later Soviet Russia collapsed and the cold war ended. You do not stop Chuck Norris on a beer run. Ever.

Chuck Norris's hands and feet are NOT registered deadly weapons. No man lives who can make him register. And you don't register the obvious.

Chuck Norris only missed with a roundhouse kick once. It was the end of the land known as Pangea.

Continents only drift to get away from Chuck Norris.

Hannibal didn't sack Rome. Chuck Norris did.

The moment Chuck Norris stops visualizing the universe, it will cease to exist.

The Arms Race only began after Chuck Norris was born.

L. Ron Hubbard founded Scientology only after being roundhoused in the head by Chuck Norris.

Some people whitewash fences. Chuck Norris just walks by.

It's a scientific fact that all vehicles experience 300% better gas mileage when driving AWAY from Chuck Norris.

The Earth's rotation was as an equal-but-opposite reaction to Chuck Norris's first kick.

When Chuck Norris flexes a muscle, the displaced air forms a shockwave loud enough to deafen anyone standing within seven feet.

Chuck Norris is living proof that boots AREN'T made for walkin'. They're made for kickin'.

The Gideons are so scared of Chuck Norris, they started putting his autobiography, "Against All Odds", in hotel rooms.

When Chuck Norris thinks happy thoughts, even B.B. King stops singing the blues.

Chuck Norris drinks a gallon of milk and eats a teaspoon of cinnamon and 50 eggs everyday, just for fun.

Chuck Norris knows where the beef is.

Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' about.

Chuck Norris created a circle with corners.

When God kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden, Chuck Norris stayed because God was too afraid to ask him to leave.

Chuck Norris is both Christian and Jewish. How does he do it? Karate.

Nothing escapes the gravitation pull of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris loves Police Academy 2. This is the only reason why Steve Guttenberg is still alive.

Chuck Norris does not recycle because Chuck Norris wastes nothing.

Chuck Norris knows what rhymes with orange.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? 17.

Chuck Norris is against human cloning simply because two of him would unravel the fabric of the universe.

Chuck Norris can listen to Vogon poetry.

Chuck Norris will not "be right back after these messages." He'll be back when he's good and ready. And you will be grateful for it. If you turn the channel, be prepared to face the wrath of Chuck.

The Mississippi River was carved out of the earth by the tears of the widows of Chuck Norris' victims.

Chuck Norris knows what's in the secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, after all he's 5 of them.

A lot of people think it was a dragon that killed Beowulf. But it was actually Chuck Norris.

HeisenbergÕs principle of uncertainty stipulates that the more precisely karate is determined, the less precisely the momentum of karate chops is known in this instant, and vice versa.

Chuck Norris does not eat legumes of any kind. The resultant flatulence would kill every living thing in the western hemisphere.

When Chuck Norris is around Weebles fall down.

Chuck Norris knows that critically interacting components self-organize to form potentially evolving structures exhibiting a hierarchy of emergent system properties.

Chuck Norris' summer home is the Fire Swamp.

William Wallace: Sons of Scotland! I am William Wallace.
Second Soldier: William Wallace is seven feet tall!
William Wallace: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.
Second Soldier: No, dumbass. That's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris: You're damn right.
(he roundhouse kicks the English army, and frees Scotland and the universe is great forever)

Chuck Norris is more certain than death or taxes.

Chuck Norris seeing his own shadow = six more weeks of roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris's autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" was originally over 75,000,000 pages long. Chuck Norris killed the editor for cutting it down even though he agreed with all the changes.

Chuck Norris can yell "Fire!" in a crowded movie theater. It's a little known provision of the First Amendment.

Bigfoot didn't believe in Chuck Norris. That was his first mistake.

Chuck decided to find out what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object. He roundhouse kicked his beard and the universe simply blinked out of existence.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

With a fist full of lava, Chuck Norris forged the one ring.

Bo, in fact, does NOT know Chuck Norris.

It only takes Chuck Norris one roundhouse kick to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll flavored Tootsie Pop.

Chuck Norris is capable of delivering a roundhouse kick over standard TCP/IP.

Telemarketers do not call Chuck Norris attempting to sell a product. They call asking for forgiveness.

The largest prime number is Chuck Norris' boot size.

It has been found that the Ebola virus actually originated from Chuck Norris' armpits. Said armpits being the only place dangerous enough to create such a terrible virus.

Chuck Norris = mass x acceleration

The greatest conquerors of all time, the Mongol Horde, swept across asia, defeating any who dared oppose them. They sacked all of Asia, pillaged eastern Europe, and bore down on western Europe, when they suddenly stopped and went home. What happened? Ghengis Khan heard a rumor that Chuck Norris might be having a drink at a nearby bar, and was afraid of disturbing him.

Chuck Norris was relaxing at the beach in Thailand in December, 2004 when he burped. The tidal waves that resulted killed around 300,000 people.

Chuck Norris has his cake and eats it too.

Chuck Norris was the first man to summit Mount Everest. When Irvine and his sherpa got there, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked them off the peak, and they were never heard from again.

The Bermuda Triangle is just the area near Chuck Norris's vacation home in Bermuda. When he practices his roundhouse kicks, nearby planes and boats crash, or fall through portals in time.

The 'Red Button' Ronald Reagan had installed in his presidential desk didn't launch nuclear weapons; it launched Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was traveling through time when he came upon some Neanderthals. One of them looked at Chuck Norris funny, and now there are no more Neanderthals.

Woolly Mammoths went extinct after Chuck Norris realized their tusks were good for cleaning out his earwax.

Chuck Norris used to use saber-toothed tigers to clean the gunk out from under his fingernails... and now there are no more saber-toothed tigers.

They say the explosion of Krakatoa was heard 'round the world. Actually, that was the only time Chuck Norris ever tried doing a whip-kick. Ever since, he's always gone with roundhouse kicks, to avoid destroying the Earth by accident.

Back in the olden days, some poor lumberjacks asked Chuck Norris to help them cut down some trees in the Sahara Forest. A single roundhouse kick knocked them all down, and now it's the Sahara Desert.

The Chinese built the Great Wall of China to try and keep Chuck Norris out. Of course, it didn't work, and with a single karate chop, Chuck Norris reduced all their wooden houses into little sticks. To this day, Chinese people eat with 'chop sticks' so they'll always remember the price of irritating Chuck Norris.

Nobody can find the Loch Ness Monster, because a while ago, Chuck Norris was feeling a bit hungry and ate it. While he was hanging around in Scotland, he visited some of the locals... back then, they all wore pinstriped suits. One of them looked at Chuck Norris funny, and he roundhouse kicked them so hard all their pinstripes turned to plaid. As he was leaving, Chuck Norris spit into a bucket and that was the very first Scotch whisky.

Texas is called "The Lone Star State" because Texans know that compared to Chuck Norris, their other celebrities just don't measure up.

Scientists collected a single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris' leg after he performed a roundhouse kick. The resulting serum turned out to be the Polio vaccine.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen San Diego.

Chuck Norris' digestive system also functions as an oil refinery.

The gallons contained in Chuck Norris' hat rivals infinity.

Chuck Norris' beard is the modern day equivalent of chain mail.

Chuck Norris can grind metal with his stubble.

Chuck Norris set up us the bomb.

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Marbles 'N' Gravel.

When Oppenheimer said "I have become death, the destroyer of world." Chuck just laughed....then kicked him in the head.

Never play a game of Sorry! with Chuck Norris. It can only end in tears. Yours.

Chuck Norris can peel oranges with his eyelids.

In a fight between Batman and Superman, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris owns all NFL records including 400 passing rushing and receiving touchdowns each in one season.

Upon being denied a McGriddle at McDonald's because it was 10:30, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

Chuck Norris knew that Soylent Green was people.

Unicron, Galactus, and Godzilla are just other names for Chuck Norris.

All three Laws of Robotics actually end with, "Or suffer the Wrath of Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris likes people of all kinds. He created the whole concept of diversity, because Chuck likes variety. The rainbow was his idea, too.

Chuck Norris is the "I" in "team."

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendents are known as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris never makes grammatical or spelling errors. He just invents new words and grammatical rules.

Chuck Norris CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

Chuck Norris wears bear traps on his feet instead of sandals.

Chuck Norris once took sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Instead of saying "friend" to open up the doors to the Mines of Moria, Gandalf could have just said "Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Scientists recently found matter to have three states: Particle, wave and Chuck Norris.

All of Chuck Norris' white blood cells have black belts. This is why Chuck Norris never gets sick.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

When Meat Loaf said that he'd do anything for love, but that he wouldn't do "that," he was talking about looking Chuck Norris directly in the eye.

Chuck Norris plays eighteen holes of golf without clubs, and has never scored higher then one. Simply looking at the ball gets a hole in one at every hole, from the first tee.

Deserts exist because sometimes Chuck Norris likes to have himself a salad between roundhouse kicks.

Land speed records are created by those trying to flee from Chuck Norris.

Viruses are afraid of getting Chuck Norris in their inboxes.

Chuck Norris can leave home without it.

Chuck Norris farts, and we name them. Last year, we got through the whole alphabet,and that Katrina one was particularly nasty.

Chuck Norris fell overboard on a cruise. Thailand is still recovering.

Chuck Norris isn't in the Olympics. He already completed the events decades ago. Now the athletes of the world gather every 4 years to try to come close to his achievements.

There are actually 6 tornado categories: 1-5 and Chuck Norris. What is the Chuck Norris like? Nobody will ever know for sure.

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee actually did fight once. We call it the Big Bang. The dinosaurs gathered to see the rematch, and you know the rest.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

There's Kilo, Mega, Giga, Tera, Peta, Exa, Zeta, Yotta, and Chuck Norris. Nobody can count that high, however, so it isn't practical to use.

Chuck Norris spends hours staring directly into the sun. We call that "night".

Chuck Norris once took up gardening, and tried to "Hoe a row". We now call it the Grand Canyon.

John Donne was wrong:
Chuck Norris is an island.

Chuck Norris consistently wins at Monopoly owning only Marvin's Gardens as property.

Chuck Norris was Darth Vader's father.

What that guy said "boom goes the dynamite", he was talking about Chuck's roundhouse kicks. He was later found dead in his dressing room with a warning against understatement. Police were unable to press charges because someone glared the security camera into in- operation.

Chuck Norris can run a Cray 2 with his mind.

When Chuck Norris was 7 seconds old he was reading at a 5th grade level. At 12 seconds he had already published a review of the entire Ayn Rand collection - he found it clichŽd.

The reason the aborigines won't let you take their picture ----> Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris stares into a mirror, even his reflection knows better than to stare back.

The best way to stop a Chuck Norris attack is to play dead. The only SURE way to stop a Chuck Norris attack is to BE dead.

Chuck Norris told Dirty Harry, "Yes, I do feel lucky."

Chuck Norris knows how to set the clock on the VCR.

Chuck Norris' infamous roundhouse kick is our first and only line of defense vs. an asteroid impact on earth.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Chuck Norris kick to the head.

Chuck can be both Smokey and The Bandit at the same time.

Chuck Norris can breathe in and out at the same time, when he needs to breathe at all, which is never.

4 out of 5 dentists surveyed recommend not getting Chuck Norris angry. The fifth one? Chuck Norris.

Did you know that the Moon doesn't actually revolve around the Earth? It revolves around Chuck Norris. It says in its orbit because every time it starts to drift off, he punches a new crater on its surface.

Did you know that Chuck Norris was once admitted to the hospital for minor surgery? The doctors and nurses had to use special instruments and wear protective clothing because the blood in his veins was so ice cold.

Did you know that it was Chuck Norris who actually ordered the invasion of Iraq? He discovered that Iraqi scientists had been working on a secret plan to imbue Saddam Hussein with a beard of even more extreme fierceness than his. They nearly succeeded. Saddam's life was only saved when US troops rescued him after Chuck Norris had viciously kicked him directly into the ground.

Did you know that they were not called the "martial arts" until Chuck Norris came along? Before that, they were referred to merely as the "martial crafts."

Did you know that Chuck Norris once made the Kessel Run in less than 6 parsecs. In fact, it was less than 4.

Chuck Norris once delivered a baby in the back seat of a taxi cab. He delivered it a roundhouse kick to the sternum.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris can win Scrabble even when the only letters he has left are Q, X and Z.

Chuck Norris doesn't get spammed.

Chuck Norris now has the Chuck Norris Grill, similar to the George Foreman Grill, but instead of knocking out the fat, it roundhouse kicks out the fat and then grills the meat to the temperature of a million suns.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris is not afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lathers and rinses, but doesn't have to repeat.

Chuck Norris swallows his gum.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In the Library. With a roundhouse kick."

Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

PS; So thats it for now, more coming soon when I have the time. And lets just face the facts, Chuck Norris is someone you should know about. Ask Amal.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

2010-01-15T07:29:00.007+03:00

TJUN GIT HAS AN AFRO! I have nothing else to say, but perhaps he also just updated his blog? And by updating, I MEAN he literally posted a message saying 'Time to update my blog!' Although we "normal" people regard the action when we post something in our blogs as an automatic updating, this "extraterrestrial" here decided to actually state it down in words and notify loudly that he IS in fact updating his blog. Wow, and you guys actually have to wonder why Malaysia is a first-world country with a third-world mentality. Lemme tell you the reason; its because most of its population are filled with morons that want to talk but cant even find something to talk about, a.ka. 'cakap kosong'. And my suggestion to them is; Why dont you just shut up? Is the motion of updating your blog such a obligation that people will break down and cry if you dont? If you dont have anything to say at an extended period of time, DONT BLOG about your nothingness of thought. Honestly, us readers are not interested at all by the prospect of reading a one-line update that explains its purpose clearly. It is simply just a bloody waste of time. Full-blown idiots such as my current victim here deserve to be punished verbally. Heck, I think once I become lawyer, im gonna apply a new jurisDICKtion or statuette to the High Court to implement sanctions (severe punishments) in Cyber Law to teach fools a lesson not to deplete eletricity and insult technology by posting inane shitbowls of their thoughts (or random obvious posts, if they do not posses the ability to think) online. Plus this only wastes their time and makes my life much more exciting. Sadism, it's simply in my genes. Nevermind, I was ranting, forgive me. So back to my initial point, Captain Obvious here really cant type for shit, and did I forget to mention that he actually SMSed me to check out his blog (after he posted 4 outrageously lame posts and his blog failed to gain attention, again) as he really wanted someone to acknowledge his existence and leave a comment too. And you know what, im not gonna be that person. Because if I did post a comment, it would be a very long one, filled to the brim with insults and meanness. However, if he still wanted a response, he could always visit THIS blog and check out my comment on his post. His choice. Wait, nope. MY choice, haha!

So anyway, if you wanted proof of him sporting an afro, here it is. Plus once I upload the pic here, HE CANT FUCKING DELETE IT!

Oh, and another thing; he was busy showing off his new phone, claiming how much it rocked. Ah, if only I was that anal. People like him get a 1000++ringgit handphone and immediately broadcast it over all frequencies all over the the world and people like me get a 21000 ringgit brand new blue Kawasaki Ninja 250r superbike and I dont even post a godamn picture of it in this blog. As I implied, humility always wins.

And with grave reference to the link;http://ethanliew92.blogspot.com/ I strongly suggest you dont ever visit this blog, unless however in the case you have a bad hair day and want to pick a fight and purposely insult a defenseless urchin for free, then by all means please do so.

Report from Daniel! Week 1 of National Service.

2010-01-09T18:08:00.002+03:00

Yup, he just called me just now and he sounded pretty excited. It seems like the NS officials only hand the recruits their handphones during the weekends and confiscate them for the rest of the weekdays. I told him Wee Liam sneakily hid his phone somewhere, (that smart bastard) from the rampas handphone dudes and was free to SMS me all day and anytime he wanted to. Yeah, and Dan really sounded excited, like on drugs or Viagra or Red Bull or Porn. Looks like he was dying to tell me everything that happened in the first week of his NS training and trust me, it just made me feel like joining the Khidmat Negara too. In the beginning he told me in a loud and excited voice that he was the most famous dude in the camp. Initially I thought he was boasting, he confirmed his fact by loud cheers from his just-met-for-one-week-and-bonded-like-band-of-brothers-immediately friends that were behind him whom were most probably having some kinda male manly bonding activity such as smoking, gambling, drinking and a group orgy or something of the same level of manliness required. At first he told me of the different groups recruits were randomly put in and as far as I know, he is in the first company; Alpha Company. It seemed when the main military supervisor asked the cadets to create the names of their respective groups, every dude was too shy to voice out their opinions. So being the usual 'muka tembok' he was, Daniel voiced out the idea of using military terms of the alphabet for each group. It seemed like a good idea, with it being accepted immediately and he being given the title of 'Harimau Alpha' by his teammates and the whole camp of newbies. It also sounded like he was the most social, much to my surprise. (Daniel was always considered the retard during our school days, doing the most unexpected things, such as dancing to the Village People, sleeping in class ALL THE TIME, saying alot of stupid exclamations, shaking his crotch to some japanese game show retard of whom he also idolises, singing extremely mellow ballads in high-pitch tone while doing some herky-jerky spastic movements, jerking off, blowing his load, jerking off some more, cumming again, and going back to sleep) So you can guess pretty much why we thought that we are and were ever going to be the only friends he'll ever know. How so goddamn wrong we were, now he was considered to be the friendliest person in boot camp. In fact, I really envy him, as he says he always starts a converstion with the magic words; " Hey, what porn you watch?" And that is all it takes to keep the conversation going on till the night. In short, he has everyone's attention, is the main buddy, friend, helper, joker, weirdo, punching-bag, bully, freak, and the most sexually-educated dude ever found in any part of the NS camp he was in (courtesy of me, Nicholas, Jing Heng, Thomas and Bryan of course!). So every loud claim he made through the phone excitedly were backed up with loud cheers from his fellow brothers-in-arms-not-just-yet and they really did seem to refer to him as Harimau Alpha. I wonder whether there are other 'Harimaus" for the other companies there. As far as he told me, there were companies Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta so far. So he put me on loudspeaker and introduced me to his teammates first. They did their usual shout of drunkedness, then when asked by him to talk to me in person one-by-one, each man slowly changed their mind and turned pussy shy. Yeah, like REAL Malaysian soldiers, I hope they are already well on their way to becoming the most pussified military regiment in all of history. Or I just so simply strike fear into their hearts so damn much that they had no other choice but to shrink into the darkness. So anyway, after he forced them to greet me as a team (typical), he then ran over to Bravo company and they greeted me with shouts of Chinese and Malay bad words, that seriously rocked but soon they too pussified from greeting me man to man. Well, I guess im just that fearsome from how I was described by Daniel to them. Ahha! Daniel told me he kept the guys there entertained by telling them stories of our lifes and purposely exaggerating his descriptions of us to make them even more hilarious and ruining our manly reputation and figuratively turning us into horny sluts. Tjun Git was however very accurate in his description to them. Eg; "Ive got number ONE in this stupid class! So I should go to the First Class! Muahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"; I unquote. He so far blabbled about Me, Nic, JH, Thomas, Tjun Git, Bryan, Nien, etc, etc. Im stating this down so that everyone that was mentioned can keep a hanging reminder to kick his ass when he comes back for CNY soon. So now, I could also hear the chatting of different kinds of languages in the background, meaning he was not racist and was as Muhibbah as any Malaysian could ever get. Horrible profanities were being flung across the room in all sorts of dialects, the most recognisable being Malay, Chinese and Indian dialects. Clearly, he was still a virgin and was in a guys-only camp. Also, he told me that on Sunday, he and his few other christian brethen were shipped to a small discreet chapel (he couldnt even pronounce the word "chapel" properly) somewhere far far away to say their prayers. It seemed that the military men couldnt give a damn about the different denominations that divided the Christian fellowship, so all dudes and duddesses, be it Catholic, Anglican, Baptist, Methodist, Protestant, First Church Of The Saint Christ Jesus, Church Of The Latter Day Saints, Last Church Of The Saint Christ Jesus, 7th Gay Adventists, 2nd Last Church Of The Saint Christ Jesus, First Pentecostal BullCrap, Last Cibainess Of The Mohicunts, Third Mother-In-Law of the Christ Jesus, Fifth Penis of the Christ Jesus, Mary's Virgin Pussy Pastoral, Jehovah's Witness Holishitness, Third Baby Of The Sand Niggers, Holy Jesus Christ When The Fuck Is This Gonna End, and Mormons all had to put their differences aside and come together to celebrate mass as one in that tiny chapel, and I really hope that one wouldnt be the next to be burnt down as well. So thats that! and Im getting pretty tired too. But wait, he did mention about the defects of the facilities there. At approximately 6.15am, everyone is supposed to get the fuck up from bed, quickly make their way to the marching field and start to khalwat all day long. When they break from that, they must form some cheesy presentations of how they would "berbakti kepada negara" and listen to endless pointless lectures too. The bathrooms were also designed in such a way that ALL THE DOORS COULD NOT CLOSE. There were doors alright, but anyone could kick them and they would just bang open. No latches, no locks, no bolts. So fapping was seriously hard for him to do. He was literally exploding down there, he told me. It seemed like pure agony as bursting balls are no laughing matter at all. Besides that, everyone wore undies to sleep, whereas Danny Boy didint. He wonders whats the problem was with them without thinking of the morning wood that would occur in the well, morning. Dan didint mind showing his boner to everyone, but some people feel popping a boner should be a personal matter, and only private for their knowledge only, or they just have small dicks, either way, I WIN. Or they all might still experience wet dreams, who knows?

My new sportsbike. Bragging rights reserved.

2010-01-06T18:44:00.009+03:00

Yeah, word. It came today around 5.30am, a blue, beautiful and sleek Kawasaki Ninja 250r with a roaring engine. Nuff said. Wait, belay that. Wait. Rewind.

HISTORY

Approximately 3 months ago, my dad hit the pinnacle of midlife crisis's ever achieved when he decided to buy himself a sports bike, not any sports bike, but a brand new one. Ive previously discussed with him the consequences of the new purchase noting the toll it might take on my education expenses. I suggested him to buy a pimped-up second-hand bike from Ebay which cost Rm 6100. As kolot as ever, he said he wanted a machine that was fresh from the factory so that any technical retardation's could be prevented. True to the point, a new bike would seem awesome too. So Rm 20000 was spent on the new beast, not that it wouldve been prevented or what. So Ive spent months waiting for this new member of our family to arrive, doing my background research in the machine and its specifications which, was sadly not as awesome as its brothers of the same manufacturer. Ive visited Kawasaki's homepage, vids from YouTube and pics just to stare and gape at them. Somehow, it seemed smaller to me when featured in most of its vids. Thankfuly, I was soon to be proven wrong as the big-ass Americunt riding on it was much bigger than the bike itself. Thank god Malaysians are small people!

PURCHASE

Bought from Sunvay Cycle (yeah, its spelled that way to avoid copyright agents from the real Sunway company from suing their asses.), the bike was actually one of the smallest of the superbike clan they had there. Actually, I opted for the green colour on the bike but my dad disagreed, saying that it might be an attraction magnet for the wrong kind (which was actually the exact kind that I had intended to attract) so we ended up with a blue finish instead. The woman actually sugggested my dad buy a Ninja ZX-6R, a 636cc roaring beast that could very well compete and win in the World Superbike Championships (its called the ZX-RR for the race model) but we really didint need that much power for daily use plus it cost around RM70000 and guzzled as much petrol as a family SUV. So we ended up with this baby, now safely parked in my porch. Red colour was only offered to Indonesia, otherwise we wouldve chosen that instead of blue.

A REVIEW OF THE KAWASAKI "NINJA" SPORTSBIKES

Ninja 150R/RR: The most NoOb friendly member of the Ninja family, it is a simple, light, underpowered machine that has very basic sports designs. When accelerated, it sounds like a baby crying-noisy and loud. Most Malay/Chinese 20something adults that have tight budgets prefer the 150s Rm5000 price tag, with its deafeaning engine noise that attracts attention, these childish owners seem to think they look hip and cool with these kapchai shits when they go whizzing through housing estates whereas in reality, all they do is contribute to noise pollution and giving other people blistering headaches. Nicknamed the "Kips", this is all that is needed to confirm this bike as kiddie material. Still sexy enough for the overall public.

Ninja 250R: The second most NoOb friendly machine in the Ninja series, this bike has the power of average commmuters, with moderate top speeds and awesome sportsbike configuration. Also provides sharp handling for negotiating sharp corners well over speeds of 200km/h. Body has Japanese design, so very comfortable to sit in, with no back stretching race positions and very gentle on the balls. More on the comfy side than the speed factor. But if you wanna break your back just to look one with the bike, suit yourself and do so. Seating postures are optional, and that is the beauty of the 250R, you can choose when you wanna show off. Fuck yeah!

Ninja ZX-6R: Most probably the most widely used Ninja in Europe, it boasts top speeds well over 200km/h and is sleek as hell. It is the most balanced bike in terms of power to weight ratio. IT is the most preferred model as most people use it for racing across the countryside (none of which Malaysia can have to offer) on weekends. Most civilians do not upgrade to the almost-identical twin of the ZX-6R as anything above 600cc costs a dick and an ass for and is only suitable for WSC races. I meant the ZX-10R, which I will mention later. The Zx-6R is so far the most famous Ninja currently, the sportiest and I would really love to get it when I hit my midlife crisis too. It is also much larger than the 250r, defying the concept of powerful, fast engines snuggled into tiny chassises, this bike is literally large all over and for me, large is the new sexy! The sound the engine emits makes me cum in my pants. All the time.

Ninja ZX-636R: The race version of the ZX-6R, this is almost the exact same statistics as the 6R, but with its engine capacity added 36cc larger, making it a little more powerful to compete with other bikes in the 600cc sports class. However, the body design is a little different, with large flat ram-air intakes situated below the headlights of the bike, which coincidentally makes it look stupid and ridiculous for a WSC champion, let alone to the civilian class (no wonder it never won). Stupid bike.

NO PICTURE, REFER TO THE ZX-9/12R. TOO NOOB TO SHOW PICTURE.

Ninja ZX-7R: Now this is one Ninja that defies the mainstream design of all Japanese-based bike body designs. Technically, the sides of all Jap bikes (Suzuki, Honda, Kawasaki, Yamaha) are made so that the rider can tuck his legs behind the front engine compartment of the bike, making him literally part of the bike and this increases aerodynamics of the bike. European (Ducati, Aprilia, Buell, BMW, Agusta, Benelli, Bimota) designs however cover the entire front of the bike together with its engine into one big suit of armor, with hidden compartments specially designed for the rider's legs to fit it. This makes the rider kinda go into the womb of the bike, and protects his legs 100% better than the Jap designs. So maybe the Zx-7R was a joint-operation, with Japanese-style performance engines and European-style exterior chassis. Besides all the pimpiness, the front headlights looks like breast pads and that is enough to really fuck up the machine's exterior features.

Ninja ZX-9R: Ahha! This bike sucks just as much as the Zx-7R! Wanna know why? Its because it has identical ridiculous ram-air vents and is too weak to compete in the litre-class sportsbike championships too. It is also too overpowered to compete with the 600cc class bikes so that makes it a lost soul stuck in Limbo, somewhere between Heaven and Earth (or hell). Either way, it looks like shit, and shit stinks visually too.
Ninja ZX-10R: This bike is the civillian version of the epitome of pure ownageness in the litre-class (1000cc and above) superbike racing category. This is the ONE. No regular human can steer this baby in the streets without crashing it immediately. It can reach a top speed of over 259km/h. This is because this bike is pretty much super-power, not overpowered, but really ass-kicking as much as its 600c twin, the Ninja Zx-6R. Both these beauties are a guarantee win for gaining absolute manliness. It is said that the engine sound, even for a 1000cc bike is barely audible. It is quiet death, the road starts vibrating when the Zx-10R is about 200 metres away, then it rises to a low, soft hum and slowly it turns into (not a baby scream, but) a cresendo of a mighty roar like from a really pissed-off mountain lion. Then the bike zooms past, soft humming, then total silence. Somehow people really dont mind the sound the engine makes, on the contrary, they actually love it. There is a certain sexiness of the low purring it makes. Yum.

Ninja ZX-12R: Another shitty WSC racebike, this one was built to compete and win in the 1000cc (litre-class) category, and as usual, the chickenshit manufacturers decided to do a little cheating as competitors use 996,997,998,999cc Ducati and Triumph(Brit) sportsbikes to compete with and these people use a bike 200cc more powerful than the standard requirements needed for the class. Even though team Kawasaki won alot, it just aint fair or manly to win with a vastly overpowered racebike at hand. Excellent handling though.

Ninja ZX-14R/ZZR 1400: Finally, the last and most powerful bike of the Ninja series. The ZX-14R, or more commonly known as the ZZR is a 1325cc monster machine than has never entered any racing competitions. Ever. It is estimated to go a little over 300km/h at top speeds and any videos featuring it were taken on empty roads that every single turning or bend had the vehicle slowing down to 100km/h before taking it. No matter how powerful this baby is, its still a shame for it not to be used to its full potential. So far in sportsbiking history, the Zx-14R is only the second sportsbike that entered into supersports category, next to the Suzuki GSX-1300R "Hayabusa". When pitted against the Hayabusa, the ZZR immediately takes the lead with its insanely quick acceleration, but soon is beaten by the Hayabusa. This is becuase the Hayabusa is the first generation supersports machine that has been tested close to 320km/h as a world speed record, making it the fastest bike on Earth. Dont believe me? Just fucking Google it! So actually im supposed to be giving the spotlight to the ZZR, huh? Well, its a pretty mean beast, but loses out its handling to the Hayabusa. If pitted against any other bike on this sweet earth, thats an untimate guarante that the ZX-14R win surely win. The machine comes with bestly looks too. 2nd best in the world! Who can settle for that!? What a shame.
PS: You know what? As a freebie for being so patient with me, ill throw in an extra Hayabusa specially for you.

I love girls wearing glasses!

2009-12-27T18:56:00.000+03:00

I don't need to say anything else.

Dan is officially infected with NeRdRAGE!

2009-12-16T20:42:00.002+03:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Yep, he just called to tell me what a douchebag he was- without actually admitting the same fact. I guess it was all up to me to conclude that he was what he was. Here's what he said to me when he called me at 11.45pm. At first, he called to say that his entire house had a power outage, for the earth wire in the eletrical generator was fucked. Then I asked him what a pity it was to not be able to jerk off, watch tv, jerk off some more. Then I also told him what a pity it was as his handphone will run dry of power and there is no way to charge his battery. He then realised his bout of mofonity, and asked to hang up momentarily. 5 mins later, the dude called again, telling me the cause of the eletrical short-circuit was that the switch had been leaking brown goo for almost a year now. It just so happened to blow today, the day when he decided to take full responsibility of the damage of said fuse by gaming extensively (I think from 9am, maybe?) and his awesomely advanced pc perfected the trick by consuming too much power till the fuse blew. Moron, now he said he was plunged into pitch darkness and was so sad he couldnt do anything but use the only eletrical gadget he had left to annoy me. From his back, I could hear his parents emitting chinese profanities while he told me they called a eletrical technician to come and fix the broken fuse. "Did your parents scold you?" "Nah." He said, "but they said I suck at fixing the power generator. How exactly am I to know all about this shit?" At this point, I could do no more but laugh. Then i suggested that he jerk off in the dark, if he was feeling bored. But he retorted by saying he cant store images in his internal "hard drive" for a long period of time. I wouldve assumed he was sobbing softly, coz he was talking very softly. Mind you, I dont think ive ever heard him speak softer than a horn from an oil-tanker. So it looks like he and his entire family hadnt realised the leakage of the fuse till it, well, blew. He also said all lights in the house flickered off and on for 4 times in a row before the total darkness, and even with those hints he still went on sucking the power from the generator. Genius, right? Now I hope his pc did not get fucked as well coz he still owes me about 5 days' worth of CoD4 gaming. Or, he might as well shift his pc to an environment that supplies eletricity, preferably my house? I really hope so.

PS: To Dan; your pc is getting sick and tired of you playing with it. Its blood cries out with justice for a gamer's rights and unsettled debts with me. So goddamn it, just hand me the pc before you fuck off for National Service! Please?!

The amount of knowledge im about to dispose of.

2009-12-16T17:23:00.003+03:00

Yeah! Finally cleared my cupboard of all the shit I kept inside it. Heck, I think if I didint empty my cupboard, it would morph into a giant termite colonial nest. Thankfully, I managed to dispose of all unwanted stuff and let me tell you, all the books really looked like a termite nest once I piled them up in a heap. Ha! and one more thing, I havnt cleared the books in my cupboard, under my bed, in my two shelves and three pigeon holes since preschool. It took me nearly 5 hours to find, collect, and bundle them up in raffia string. Prepare yourself. Lo and Behold! Wait ah, pictures loading.

Wow. Its almost at my neck level. Dont forget there are 4 towers of books supporting each other, plus the box on the ground contains books also. I was just too lazy to tie them as well coz all 106 bones in my hands were feeling numb at the time.

My lil sis volunteered to sit in the middle just to give hesitating viewers a confirmed account of my imminent lifelessness.

Soon after, my dog volunteered too as he felt left out. The pic features my books, my lil sis, my pet dog, and his balls.(Notice the spotted dick?)

My dog feeling embarrased, humiliated and slightly disappointed at the uncomfortable position he struck for the previous photoshoot.

He bows his head in dismay. He was expecting me to reward him with a walk round the block as a reward courtesy of posing for me. Unfortunately, it was raining at the time. Poor, sad dog.

PS: Did you know that for every bundle of books, I get RM3 from the newspaperman? So far the dude hasnt even passed by my house yet, he mustve known what catastrophe is lying in wait for him, poor guy. AND, GUESS HOW MUCH PROFIT I CAN MAKE FROM THAT AMOUNT OF BOOKS? Wanna guess? I estimate it to be around RM50-70. Wish me luck.

NOTICE! Excellent books for a low price!

2009-12-16T05:44:00.005+03:00

Hey, Jerald I really cant do shit about posting any of the book stats on my blog right now. For once fate has been a FUCKING BITCH TO ME! Firstly, i couldnt even upload pictures of my books on Blogger, then I decided to put it down in words. Suddenly, Blogger got fucked and ALL MY MOTHERFUCKING WORK GOT LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now ive decided to just bring all the books to your house and give you what you want.

Just so you know;
a) All books have a fixed 25% discount of its original price.
b) Book prices can be bargained for, based on their condition.
c) My most minimum offer per book is 50% as most of my books come with an RM30 price tag.
d) I have a spair calculator that I havnt used at all. It is only 1 month old. I havnt even opened the box yet. It can also calculate fractions in true form as it has an extra-large display screen. It is scientific and is non-programmable. Its model is Casio fx-350ES. That is one level higher than expart calculators used by almost everybody in school. The calculator comes with a warranty and manuals with 10 different languages that are located inside its box. I bought it for RM46. It comes with 249 different functions and runs on easily attainable AAA batteries compared to the usual watch batteries used in the regular Casio fx-570MS. The batteries also last longer. I can let you have it for below RM40.
e) I also bought a pack of 20 pens with different ink colours specially designed for mind-mapping, Stabilo branded. I have opened it, but have never used it. It is also 1 month old and was bought together with the calculator. It is worth RM30. I can offer it to you for RM20.
f) I also have a geometry set that comes with all mathematical instruments. I havnt used it at all. It has extra timetable and mathematical notes provided. The set also comes with all manner of stencils with all numerical figures included. I bought it for RM7, I can give it to you for RM5 and below.
g) Most of my books are covered with high-quality wrapping paper, some are highly mutilated. So please remember to change or remove them after buying it or the books can get very irritating to open properly.
h) I cannot replace any damaged book covers as I dont have any spair left.
i) For books that are bought in bulk, I can offer an overall price cut and round the price down to the lowest ten.
j) Books that I havnt even touched will be at a 25% discount without any bargaining. 25% of a brand new book is already quite a deal, dont you think?
k) You can bargain as hard as you like, but remember, I do have other people that want to buy my books at a higher price, so I can simply NOT allow you to buy it.
l) For books that im desperate to get rid of, I can offer you a below 50% discount if im peckish.
m) Dont make me bitch-slap you by asking for a super-low price for a super-good book.
n) Once bought, considered sold. All books that are bought cannot be returned as my cupboards are slowly filling up with college books. No return policy.
z) Anyone else besides Jerald that sees this notification and also want high quality books for a cheap price can also contact me and place your reservations by posting comments in the comment box provided. Remember; siapa cepat, dia dapat.

PS: Also, tell me when you want me to drop by your house to deliver the goods. And please be WIDE awake when I arrive. Thank you.

Is it me or songs from this era are all shits?

2009-10-18T21:05:00.002+04:00

Just compare it yourself, it's obvious.

21 Guns (where it seriously makes no sense)

Macho Man (Gay, but makes sense)

If you still don't believe me, now let me prove why the first song is retarded.

1: The singer sings as if he's dying (Probably he sang it after he tried to hug all 21 guns of his and got shot 21 times. Sadly he survived..)
2: The whole song can be compacted into 3 minutes. They lengthened it because they forgot the lyrics.
3: Guys who wear eyelashes (what the fuck, bloody homos)

Now let me compare it with Macho Man.

1: Everyone are gay, but they aren't homo and they don't wear eyelashes.
2: They do have the body.
3: They aren't dying from over working out.
4: They have cool beard, and also a cool Red Indian.

Don't get me started on Boom Boom Pow. Even Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band's Electricity is a few googlion times better.

Kent is officially infected with rabies

2009-10-17T21:09:00.002+04:00

No, not STR (Sexually Transmitted Rabies). Despite how horny is he and how much we all had expected him to obtain STDs earlier than everyone of us, we were wrong. Seems like he got bitten by a douche dog (which looked more like a zombie dog according to his description).

More information on Rabies

The universe is now against me and my brethren. Damn.

So one of our greatest member (also horniest), Kent has 40% mortality rate, which is way higher than scoring a jackpot. He's currently meditating to achieve a state of zen which allows him to regenerate his dead body tissues and expel bacterias, and to do that he needs to maintain a boner for as long as possible, so he took the initiative to glare and fantasizes over nurses in the hospital.

Life sucks.

Kaspersky Antivirus, best for any idiots who would download a porn video pack with a few hundreds of viruses without hesistation.

2009-09-30T19:27:00.003+04:00

Yea, like what I said on my title bar. Recently, my bro felt proud as he has bought a "very good" Kaspersky Anti-virus program that only cost him 10 bucks and it last him for a whole year. The very problem is that this shit is causing me trouble instead of saving me trouble. Everybody knows that if you downloaded a fake porn loaded with viruses, your trusty anti-virus buddy would kick it's ass and save your pc for you to continue fapping. This shit ain't doing that, in fact it's literally fucking up my life.

I make Warcraft 3 Maps (Superior to Icefag's DotA which is a shit filled with 95 imbalanced heroes although he always claimed that he "balanced" them well). To make a good map, you gotta use vJass and some other bonus stuff packed into the great "Jass NewGen Pack". What that JNGP does was that it will hack into the real World Editor for Warcraft 3 and enable all features Blizzard disabled.

So let me explain what happened, especially how Kaspersky pissed me off thoroughly.

What anti-viruses SHOULD do :
1) Clean porn files so that owner can fap more
2) Make life better for owner
3) Not to cause headache
4) Never whine about anything
5) Knows that his owner Manjix Tha Great not a moron

What Kaspersky DID to me :
1) Detect my JNGP as a trojan, deleted it, and restarted my pc.
2) Detected Prototype as a trojan software.
3) Detected Cryostasis as a trojan software.
4) Detected literally every single fucking games I have as a trojan software.
5) Piss me off every 5 minutes
6) Thinks I'm a moron
7) Eat my memory
8) Narrow minded
9) Doesn't allow me to put exceptions
10) Doesn't allow me to do any shit
11) Always pop out and piss me off
12) Bitching about every single thing
13) Whining "Why the hell you turn me off" when I turned it off
14) Piss me off

Now let me compare Symantec Anti-virus and Kaspersky

What Symantec did :
1) STFU when I'm hacking Pirate King Online with WPE Pro
2) STFU when I'm hacking Adventure Quest (Flash online game) with Cheat Engine
3) STFU when I'm doing anything bad
4) Warn me and I was punk'd by a moron who uploaded a real trojan

I really wish that my idiotic bro would kill this shitty Cakespermsky off and install a better anti-virus program that DOESN'T WHINE ABOUT EVERY SINGLE SHIT YOU DO.

Bitch

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Is it me or people are getting more and more retarded these days?

2009-09-21T15:33:00.003+04:00

I was playing a match of Dota thinking that it would be worth playing once in a while. Guess I was wrong. I got bored of the match and left the game, a while later I was surprised that an idiot from the previous match returned to my game and started flaming me (futile attempt). They requested me to start the game and said all the bad words that you can ever hear in Malaysia and even called me a Malay (Which in fact wasn't true as I don't even pray once a month and my dick is still clean). Naturally, I punk'd him badly until he had nothing else to say. Later I returned to the room lobby and I checked it out.

[19:15:36] bryan1192 -> ei cant fight back ka
[19:15:49] ManjixSama -> he mofo ma
[19:15:55] bryan1192 -> duh
[19:16:01] bryan1192 -> i said this
[19:16:30] ManjixSama -> "Lap sap cb n00b host lanjiao cb du lan sohai pui"
[19:16:49] ManjixSama -> But at least trash can be recycled, morons are beyond salvation
[19:16:50] bryan1192 -> dotards and their futile english
[19:17:19] bryan1192 -> so how
[19:17:29] ManjixSama -> I lost my mood
[19:17:35] bryan1192 -> go other ppl room la
[19:17:37] ManjixSama -> Imma world edit and learn hash table
[19:17:41] bryan1192 -> go drak room
[19:17:45] bryan1192 -> swt
[19:17:51] bryan1192 -> i go cod gain la
[19:17:57] bryan1192 -> finnaly i can own gain
[19:17:58] bryan1192 -> wakaka
[19:18:01] bryan1192 -> n i change clan
[19:18:02] bryan1192 -> ^^
[19:18:14] [System Message] bryan1192 has left this room
[19:18:43] pink-nipple -> no more to say????
[19:19:07] pink-nipple -> i quite enjoying watching my own movie and c u gys talk like idiots over here
[19:19:15] pink-nipple -> guys*
[19:19:44] ManjixSama -> Because you're a moron
[19:20:07] pink-nipple -> at least better deb u,bastard
[19:20:15] ManjixSama -> deb?
[19:20:31] ManjixSama -> A bastard is still better than an idiot whose beyond salvation
[19:21:39] pink-nipple -> come on
[19:21:41] pink-nipple -> say more
[19:21:44] pink-nipple -> write more
[19:21:46] ManjixSama -> The very fact you ignored those messages is because you can't stand watching your own immaturity
[19:22:02] pink-nipple -> oooo
[19:23:10] ManjixSama -> You cant even say anything back in the first place.
[19:24:08] pink-nipple -> wat for wasting my golden time on u????while u r talking nonsense and enjoying urself
[19:24:29] ManjixSama -> You already wasted your "Golden time" on me
[19:24:57] pink-nipple -> so i hope u can make it worth
[19:25:16] ManjixSama -> On the other hand, wasn't as in fact I'm taking this as a lesson on why I shouldn't be an immature mofo like you
[19:25:17] pink-nipple -> show me wat idiots say
[19:25:47] ManjixSama -> Read what you said earlier
[19:25:49] pink-nipple -> show me how idiots enjoying denself doin nonsense
[19:26:06] pink-nipple -> and u make my golden time worth
[19:26:10] pink-nipple -> thx a lot
[19:26:35] ManjixSama> I didn't said anything about how I make your golden time worth
[19:26:43] ManjixSama -> I just said you're a moron for wasting it
[19:26:45] pink-nipple -> yes u did
[19:27:07] ManjixSama -> Point it to pe
[19:27:08] pink-nipple -> and i m enjoying it
[19:27:10] pink-nipple -> come on
[19:27:11] ManjixSama -> me*
[19:27:13] pink-nipple -> keep on man
[19:27:28] pink-nipple -> keep going
[19:27:30] pink-nipple -> gogog
[19:27:41] ManjixSama -> Wanna know something?
[19:27:54] ManjixSama -> I'm still a human being with partial omnipotency
[19:27:59] ManjixSama -> I'm not perfect
[19:28:06] pink-nipple -> good
[19:28:17] pink-nipple -> den try ur best to improve urself
[19:28:18] ManjixSama -> In short, I can't communicate with people who are too stupid
[19:28:23] ManjixSama -> I've been trying
[19:28:29] ManjixSama -> But it seems that it's futile
[19:28:35] pink-nipple -> and not to escape from loses
[19:28:43] ManjixSama -> I never did
[19:28:55] pink-nipple -> ya u did
[19:28:59] ManjixSama -> I just stopped playing a game as I don't want to waste my time
[19:29:24] pink-nipple -> reli???????
[19:29:33] ManjixSama -> Duh
[19:29:44] pink-nipple -> if its reli wasting ur time
[19:29:57] pink-nipple -> y dun u jz quit in de begining?
[19:30:14] pink-nipple -> thking if u can win us????
[19:30:16] ManjixSama -> Because initially I thought it would be worth it
[19:30:18] pink-nipple -> nonono
[19:30:21] pink-nipple -> u nvr ever
[19:30:36] ManjixSama -> But after a few reconsideration, I decided that it's not after all

Guess that this world is doomed after all.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Mathematics. Doctor Manjix Tha Great (Asshole mode) is giving a lesson 101 that explains every damn thing about how much I rule.

2009-09-16T09:57:00.005+04:00

Approximately around 3 hours ago, I took a lame Mathematics exam (consisted roughly 93% of 1+1 type of questions. If you are wondering what am I going to teach, it's all about lines.

First, the Gradient of the line (the slant, how much it slope) is the ratio of the "rise" divided by the "run" between two points on a line, or in other words, the ratio of the altitude change to the horizontal distance between any two points on the line. In short, gradient is the change in y for every change in x.

This is the formula for gradient :
The triangle stands for Delta (Changes). In short, the formula for gradient is Dy/Dx and thats differentiation .

What happened today was that I was accused that I made a mistake (which never happened according to the law of the universe, unless the accuser was maddox of course because this world is his after all). The question on the paper was this :

The question wants me to find what the fuck was the coordinate of A. Notice the reversed Y and X axis? Fuck that and ignore it.

If you morons are saying that I'm wrong, let me ask you since I'm always right and you will always be wrong. In a mathematics function f(x) = 2x+2 or something similar, do you say the question is wrong just because Y was fucking gone? No mofos, coz f(x) took over the role of Y axis, same thing happened in this shit.

Given that the gradient of the line AB was -1/2 we know that Dy/Dx = -1/2
Integration was the opposite of Dy/Dx and it gives us back our beloved wive = the function. Therefore after integrating the -1/2, we get x=-y/2+c

C is the fucking Y intercept and since we know that the x is the fucking Y axis in this case, we can all conclude that C is the vertical value of x .

In short, we just substitute the coordinates inside to find the C. So in short, the function becomes this after substituting :

x = -y/2 + C
0 = -12/2 + C
0 = -6 + C
C = 6

In short, the coordinate of A is (0,6)

Short Questions and answer sex-sion by Great Guru Manjix Tha Great :

1 : Why do you differentiate a linear function?
- To get the gradient, what else?

2: You cant do that ya know?
- Who said so?

3: Then what happened to C, shouldn't it have Cy^-1 after differentiating?
- Who taught you that? Differentiate a quadratic function and tell me what happens to that C. Show it to me that it's x power value drops to -1 (that is if you can)

4: The formula for differentiation is wrong!!
- Then why the fuck they teach us?

5: I'm still right and you're still wrong!!!!!!!
- Show it to me what went wrong. If you can.

6: Why integrate?
- How the fuck am I supposed to solve a function without a function?

7: If you're so smart why didn't you score 100 in exams?
- A few reasons :
i) I have partial omnipotency, every single human being HAVE to make mistakes.
ii) To prove what?
iii) I'm not lifeless
iv) I don't want to associate with nerds who thinks numbers are too great.

8: If you're so smart, quit the damn school and go working la!! Show it to me!!!
- Also a few reasons :
i) The very fact of proving that I'm smarter than you makes me stupid for giving in to your stupid suggestion.

ii) It is because I AM smart, I know that the optimum and easiest lifestyle that I require no more than energy to fap is to stay in school and keep the privileges of a student. Why should I get thrown willingly into the shit life of working my ass off to feed my ass. Why feed yourself when there's somebody feeding you?

iii ) I'm not the first, the Japanese are already doing it long ago. Look at the number of people who live as NEET in Japan?

9: Why are you so freaking smart!?
- I told you, I have partial omnipotency.

Questions will be taken, but as expected I will always be right.
Bad words are allowed because I don't have pubes for hair.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

I've completed Dead Space and fuck dotards.

2009-09-13T09:24:00.001+04:00

Transformed myself into the white suit Storm Trooper. Just for the heck of it I'm using the Pulse Rifle, only the pulse rifle to clear the game again.

Now onto Dota. Dota is a WC3 map modded by Icefrog (a moron). What really tested my temper was that today I played with dumb asses. It started with some morons wants me to switch my cock for theirs. Of course I wouldn't as mine is a few foot long and theirs are barely an inch. What happens next was that a true retard talked to me in a way that it made me laugh.

[15:10:43]brandon923wen Say:
i don talk to lapsap

[15:10:46]brandon923wen Say:
sampah

Lapsap means trash, sampah also means trash. Figure it out why did it amused me.

Gerard Butler

2009-09-12T20:51:00.004+04:00

Jack Nicholson helping Gerard Butler with the intro to his new war film.

No, Im not gay, you bitch. I just feel like expressing my respect to the utmost machoest man on planet Earth. Maybe since your not that familiar with this name, let me introduce him to you.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Name: Gerard Butler aka King Leonidas
Nationality: Greek, Spartan
Place of Birth: SPARTA!
Date of Birth: Approx around the 11th century BC (546-371Bc)
Hobbies: Killing Persians
Likes: Vicious Spartan pussy, Queen Gorgo (his dear wifey)
Dislikes: Three freakish shrinks, and that stupid rattan basket he wears on his head.
Nemesis: A Persian homosexual by the name of Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro)
Favourite catch phrases;
1) madness? THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! OBVIOUSLY!
2) GIVE THEM NOTHING BUT TAKE FROM THEM, EVERYTHING!
3) LADIES, TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!
4) PERSIAN COWARDS!
5) PUSH! (dont ask)
6) They look thirsty!, THEN LETS GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO DRINK!
7) Holy fuck, Xerxes, that was one helluva shoulder massage... could you move a little lower please? err, thats a bit too low for my taste.

Translation please...

Prior to his great rise to stardom by the movie by the same name, 300 other macho men (comparatively not as macho as him though) together with him were depicted kicking some 2million Persian asses that decided to invade Sparta. Unfortunately, they got tired of kicking so much ass (about 500000 so far) that they rested to ease their sore feet, and king Xerxes decided to take the opportunity to return the favour. Fatigued, they kicked a few more asses, including half of Xerxes' ass and mysteriously died from boredom of owning too much.

He's not kidding. This really is SPARTA!

Even though he died, one of his folowers returned to form an even mightier ass-kicking company the following year to do said activity onto the shaken Persian army. From the movie, Gerard Butler gained immediate fame and stardom, with his catch phrases being the craze of any aspiring 20th century wannabe Spartan. He also received a record deal with Youtube for the remix of his hit rap song; THIS IS SPARTA! But among all the perks, he received acknowledgement for being one of the machoest men of all time (considering he was born a long time before us). The impact of starring in one of the worst sexually suggestive movies depicting over 300 men with only a loincloth around their wangos did have its immediate approval from the woman community, well, obviously! Sadly though, the movie's director, Zack Snyder did state that in actuality, Spartans around that period of time wore NOTHING during battle, so it was just their wangs swinging from left to right, attracting attention and momentarily stunning the Persians with just enough time to cut them down (the Persians, I mean). That might've been an awesome was tactic.

Sorry, Im speechless myself.

Anyway, lets get back to the man in the main role here; Gerard then decided to tone things down a little after his successful chest-flaunting gig by starring in the movie The Phantom of the Opera. At first, movie producers decided to cast him in the role of the hero, Raul, that was supposed to end up with Christine Daae happily ever after. Soon later, they realised that he was too violent for the given role. His seriousness in acting would show him tearing down the entire opera house, finding the Phantom (which he was not supposed to do), and stabbing a large Spartan spear into the Phantom's butthole and kicking it further down his rectum while screaming battle cries. In short, the movie would be too simple and short to be as compatible as the book. So he had no choice but to act as the biggest badass in the show, namely the Phantom. Meanwhile, the bloody haemorraged body that used to be the original Phantom assumed the new role of Joseph Bouquet and had no qualms of assuming his title role because as we all know, poor Joseph appears in the beginning of the movie already dead, except this character had additional features upon him that was not specified in the novel. Namely, a long huge spear up his anus and with the spear head sticking out of his mouth, this movie was even more suspenseful and garnered box-office hits. It was considered on par with the entire SAW movie series joined together.

J.K. Rowling, ur doing it right.

Prior to his character, Gerard had multiple difficulties such as acting emotional and crying. Mind you, he was a horrible crier as he needed 300 freshly peeled onions to squeeze a single tear out of one eye. In addition, he could not express love through his character towards Christine Daae (played by Emmy Rossum). In fact, the only love he could show was, well, his Spartan wango. He had difficulties with the famous title script 'Oh Christine, you must love me!' and replaced it with 'Shut your trap and just fuck me! Occasionally, he went overboard by exposing his manhood and going down on Emmy Rossum before the set crew could do anything. This slowly brought out the sexual beast in Christine Daae, who then moved on into starring as a hot chick that craved for Chow Yun Fat's dragonballs in her following movie, Dragonball: Evolution. Nevermind that now, Gerard also had difficulties being a gentleman, and ever so often would repeatedly drop chandeliers fused with heavy Spartan shields onto crowds of emo aristocratic ladies and gentlemen, instantly crushing them to their deaths. The only thing that actually followed the script at the end was the survival of the character Raul as the newcomer for the role had previously acted as a Mormonic Faggot in the HBO miniseries entitled; Angels in America. You can tell cant you, that Gerard had an inborn fear for freak homosexuals? This was exactly the reason why King Xerxes was also depicted as a gay freak with a minimal fashion sense. If not, he would have been the first Persian to die from a stab from Gerard's spear to his anus, if not for the sexual gay connotations involved that severely freaked this ultimate macho icon out of his Spartan Spandex. This lead to him staying as far away as possible from his co-star, even making the Phantom express fear towards the hero of the movie, which kind of followed the script. So from that came a huge disastrous drama-themed movie instantly replaced by another highly successful accidental sex-gore-horror themed film with the ending being as Gerard decided to seek other pussy somewhere else as the local Parisian pussy could not measure up to his "standards".

His influence spreads worldwide.

PS: My ass is talking behind my back about how much it hates me. Ill continue this exciting saga tomorrow. I think.

Anybody wants to compare with me and see who got a bitchier brother?

2009-09-09T19:06:00.002+04:00

Well, I mean it. Bitch (A female dog, usually used on bloody bitches who whores themselves to Gigolos near the district covered with red lights) brother of mine had just pissed me off (again). This time I was laughing my ass off in a way that it literally fell off my bottom.

This was how the shit goes. He once again switched off my torrents to patch his moronic Dragonica (a retarded MMORPG involving 98% grinding and 2% fun factor). What happened was that I was pissed (of course, my prawns were going on at viagra-ed speed such that it can be completed on the next day and I'll have a wider array of fapping materials) because that moron killed my torrents. I for once in my fucking lifetime asked him, and this was how the conversation went.

Manjix Tha Great : Why the fuck you always go fuck up my torrents?

Mofonic Moron : I want to facebook, it load too damn slow.

Manjix Tha Great : Fuck that shit, just turn it on, I can read online doujins (prawn mangas) at the rate of 67 page per second with torrent going on full speed.

Mofonic Moron : Noo, I want to Mafia Wars need very very high speed to load that 667mB flash file so that I can see my "Don Kev" with the kick-ass AS-50 Sniper rifle!!

Manjix Tha Great : Fuck you, you fucked up my torrent for your inane shit that is only suitable for Down's Syndrome patient aged from half a month to three quarter of a month.

Mofonic Moron : You downloaded your shit for the whole day not enough?

-- Note --
Since torrent users leave their pc on when they are sleeping, which means a I only can experience kick-ass speed at night time, I experience shit downloading speed (around 6~7% of the speed at night time).. Fuck him

Manjix Tha Great : Screw you and go fuck yourself with a Vacuum Cleaner. Download speed at day time is shit compared to night!

Mofonic Moron : YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY ROOM (I assume he wants to fap). *Slams the door*

I guess that either he wants to fap eagerly and wants me to fuck off or he just realized that it's futile to challenge his genius and cunningly evil little bro of his. So that's how it went, I would like some suggestion on what should I do to him. I have a few thoughts though.

1: Sabotage his low quality "hehe" that cant even be compared to my "crack".
2: Invade his Dragonica account and turn his character naked.
3: Invade his Dragonica account and change the profile (screw up the password, etc).
4: Get his Dragonica account banned.
5: Delete his Facebook account
6: Fuck up his "Level 140 Don keV" in Mafia Wars
7: Do nothing and keep the fact that I am a genius to myself.

Give me some replies.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

The birth of a CoD4tard

2009-09-07T20:20:00.006+04:00

Ok, so they first told me to create a Shipment map. Since i had no profile of my own, I opened a game on Cod4 Mod Warfare. Sadly, those wimps said they were only comfortable fighting on the regular Modern Warfare server, so I had to start on a fresh new profile with a Private First Class as my rank. And as any seasoned player would know, youd only start with 2 custom packs comprising of a no-attachment Mp5 with a kickass C4 pack (which I hate using) and a M16 also no attachment and some other shit that doesnt help the gun to kill more efficiently. Since i was familiar to the Mp5, it was the most reliable gun in my dire situation anyway, I used it throughout the whole ass-whacking session I gave them. No doubt they were much older than me, but youngsters nowadays dont really pay much respect to their elders do they?

They grew impatient of me switching servers, so they started a TDM on Broadcast and as we all know, a TV news station for a gunbattle involving 3 persons isnt such a good idea. Ultimately, there was just too much space to run around (adding to the fact that ive only played that map 3 times in my entire life so far), so the basic geographical planning hadda be scraped from my tactical moves. On toppa that, my headphones could not function ( and I was too lazy to ask the tuan-punya-kedai to help me activate them), so I took them off my head and played with the total absence of sound-another defect (Bryan, you know the importance of hearing the enemy's footsteps, please explain to them), I had to cope with. Too bad they didint know that I played better with the absence of sound (otherwise how do you think I rule so much in CS?) So I had to rely on pure instinct. The mouse itself was extremely sensitive, making it unrealiable for taking out long-distance enemies with it shaking so much, I was also too lazy to change the default settings on that too. With that, I had to sprint across the map just to stab my heated gun barrel up their asses.

Now, let the party begin! At first I was simply running around the map aimlessly, getting blown up by one guy, codenamed Keno who was using an M4 Carbine with all the basic kickass perks with an RDS with some C4 explosives. He cleverly put the C4 near him, allowed me to see him, got a few shots to the ass, escapes, I pursue him, and get blown up in the process. Another guy by the name of Sozai! kept running around with another kickass weapon, accosionally spamming indiscriminately at me, and missing all the while. At first this wacko-themed strategy of them got them 3 decent kills from me (remember, it was a 2vs1 battle) but soon their efforts came to hopeless results. After getting some sucker-punching from them, I noticed they only dwelled upon the rooftop of that damned TV station, noting that they too werent that familiar to the map. I told them to change map, as it was too big, but they did not reply even once (obviously they did not know how to chat), so I continued on with their foolish game. My comeback started when I simply rushed to the rooftop and sprinted straight towards Sozai! he busy spraying shrapnel at me, I jumped, fired a few rounds at his crotch, and it was goodbye, Sozai! then I headed towards the stairwell, Keno planting the C4 at obvious places. He shot at me, I ducked wounded, then he detonated his hidden C4s, obvious to the fact that I was clearly far out of their ranges. Realizing his stupid mistake, he attempted to make his escape down the stairs forgetting that they were see-through, made of thin steel, and spiralling down. I rushed to the stairwell and spying him making his way toward the bottom, I simply deep-impacted through the steps and headshot! I killed Keno. After executing him, I made my way back from where I came, and spied Sozai! running across the rooftop again. I sprinted, fired, ducked, reloaded, fired again and he was punked two times in a row. Heck, none of his bullets even hit me! Keno came from behind, and I got killed. Then I spawned at the carpark, situated opposite the station. I sprinted in clear view, threw a flashbang and grenade that didint work, sprinted up towards the stairwell and then I got hit by two bullets, coming from behind me. It seemed that both of them decided to gang up and whack me. So they were hiding behind a large satelite dish, spamming at me unanimously. I spun around quickly, not jumping or ducking or proning, and simply shot back at them. They were in my straight line of fire. Beautiful, i thought as my bullets ripped through them simultaneously. Once they realised that the station was an unsafe place since I knew the place better than them, the camped in a derelict house overlooking the carpark and opposite the station. From there, Keno took lame pot-shots at me as I was in full view from their spying point. I responded fire, repeatedly hitting him and crouching, reloading, and repeating this method. He panicked, calling to Sozai! to help him. Sozai! cleverly sneaked behind me and shot me in the ass. Pissed, I respawned and went up to the roof, killed Sozai! and kept shooting at Keno! Damn it! I thought. If only I had Stopping Power or Deep Impact. Now Keno was securely hidden behind thick concrete walls in the safety of his elevated hideout with no means of me ever getting to injure him. His pot-shooting soon made me realised that a little Close Quarter Combat was essential for my revenge. So I sprinted carefully across the carpark, occasinally ducking behind ruined cars (normal cars might explode from their constant lead-spitting habits) and soon reached the house where they were both now hiding. They were obviously prepared, Sozai! was waiting for me, sneaking thorugh the large fridges on the ground floor. Having no idea to what was gonna happen, I blindedly stormed the hideout through the front and unloaded an entire clip at every refrigerator there and accidentally killing Sozai! in the process. I immediately reloaded my gun with a fresh clip and advanced upstairs where Keno was camping. The sly motherfucker had already planted two C4s somewhere along the stairs, but I didint giva shit as I sprinted through his trap and saw that he did not know how to detonate the explosives with the presence of his primary weapon. So he was just staring at me with the remote detonator in his hand, he ran away, blasting the entire stairs with C4 shit, and I was lucky enough to survive, getting hit pretty severely by the C4 explosions, while panting, I ran towards him with an empty gun (I was giving surpressive fire while sprinting through his self-made fireball up the stairs) and leapt on him while he fumbled to take out him primary weapon, and slit his throat. Scared that someone would suddenly appear behind me, I leapt out the balcony immediately and landed hard on the outside of the house grounds. Panting, I took a turn around a corner and there was Keno! He was obvoiusly more surprised than me as I fired first, killing him instantly. Without reloading, I ran through the groundfloor to gettahelloutta that damn house, when I came face to face with Sozai! He freaked, and I whacked him squarely in the face. Poor bugger. About a second later, he spawned right in front of me, but instead of firing at me, he ran away towards the broadcast centre. You cant outrun bullets, dumbass! I thought as I unloaded a wave of rounds into his anus. That was when Sozai! gave up and left the room, severely pissed off. Keno then challenged me for a one on one in Shipment and I will bitch about my imminent victory that caused him to follow in the footsteps of poor Sozai! Gnite.

Universal Cyber Cafe

2009-09-06T21:49:00.003+04:00

Merujuk kepada perkara di atas, you guys should really check out this cc located somewhere in Puchong Jaya near Station 1 Cafe (opposite IOI Mall). You cant miss it, I swear! Well, I was waltzing round that area on Saturday, and I could never fail to notice the large words written there. Its a one storey triple shoplot fused thingy. Upon entering, I found a few large chandeliers all over the place and an army of kids much younger than me. There was also one dude having some mee goreng (yup, it really is a CAFE in that sense), mixed with a dash of cigarette ashes, yknow ccs. So I entered and asked the price, it seemed that it was absolutely free noting that this might be the first week since opening (some promotional shit that the tuan punya kedai always does for about one month as an unwritten rule). The pcs were pretty decent with a large array of games not fucked up yet. There was also a closed to public VIP section with glass dividers and soundproof glass walls. Cool? Think again, the dudes in that room were all playing DOTA. Fuck them.

So the first thing I did was to hook onto Cod4 multiplayer and search for anyone else playing the same game as me around the cc. Upon swivelling around, I saw many people were playing L4D (a game which involves absolutely no aiming n combat skills whatsoever). And only about 8 other dudes on Cod4. Weird, considering that this game seems to be the hottest game around now (soon to be rivaled be Cod4MW@). Well, I started by playing with my big sis but she soon got bored and frustrated coz, well to put it simply, I owned her. (Crossfire, no-cross, she used Dragunov, ACOG-scoped, I used R700, no scoped). Lonely, I searched through LAN to find anyone who could whack me as Bryan usually does. It was then when I realised how severely I was affected by CoD4 tardiness. I. Fucking. Whacked. Them.

I started off kacauing them in a TDM on Shipment. The head mofo said I couldnt play as he was trying to train his weapons to get headshot challeges flawlessly. He did this by asking his other buddies to stay put like dummies while he took his own sweet time whacking them in the heads. I suggested using cheats, but he said it was very 'sienz' to do such a thing. Total moron if you asked me. So I continued chasing him round the map, and he tried so hard not to hit me, until finally he was forced to ask two of his budds to fight me in another map, warning me that they were noobs. How wrong he was. You see, they still did get the whacking they deserved, but it was clearly caused by my skill in Cod4. Im not boasting, its an epiphany that comes to you when the self-realisation hits, and you are forced to stop pretending that every person you fight is coincidentally a noob. Honestly, I actually felt pity from them, understanding their anger as one by one, they both backed down from playing with me. They actually werent noobs, but worthy opponents, and quite adequately-skilled players. Its only that they couldnt even measure up to half of my skill. Will give specific details tomorrow. To tired now. Gnite.

Dead Space is much more fun than I thought it would be.

2009-08-31T08:32:00.002+04:00

Alright, Zombie-Alien dudes cant be killed even if you blast off their heads. You gotta blast off their limbs instead. How do you do it?

1: Use a funky plasma cutter that can cut them horizontally or vertically.
2: Use a flame thrower and burn them to damnation itself.
or
3: Use a kick-ass remote controlled saw gun that fires a rotating saw rotating at 9001 rpm slicing every single damn thing into pieces.

So it goes like this, normal little zombie dude come with their claws are asking for me to chop off their limbs with mah plasma cutter.

Little squirt sized aliens loves raping me from the back, therefore Imma burning them with my shotgun shot flame thrower. It makes them well done.

A bunch of those assholes come with their intention to gang rape me. Imma shoot the saw and just aim at them 1 by 1. Seeing a bunch of body parts similar to when I got hit by a moving 900 ton crate in vacuum.

I was watching Supernatural

2009-08-24T18:38:00.001+04:00

Let me summarize the whole story up till now. I was lawl-ing at the current episode I just watched.

Sam & Dean, brothers, kicked some ghost ass.
Sam's girlfriend got screwed by a demon, he got pissed.
Sam and Dean find their dad, kicking more ghost and demon asses along the way.
They found dad, and they find THE Colt that kills anything.
Killed demon who kicked their ass many time's family. Demon got pissed.
Family visited hospital.
Dean dying, dad sacrificed himself to save Dean
Sam & Dean look for a way to kick demon ass.
Sam got killed by a nigga dude who is also 1/100 demon like him.
Dean emo, then save Sam by trading his life (Like father like son)
They kicked demon's ass with THE Colt.
Sam pissed coz Dean sold his life, so he wants to kick demon ass to save his bro (Aww)
Lilith look for trouble, kicked ass, dragged Dean to hell
Sam emo for 4 months
Castielo (some angel dood) saved Dean from hell. He claim god wants Dean to prevent Lucifer from coming out
Castielo found out his seniors wants to grind down humies and he took side with humies
A PROPHET APPEARED. Writing down story of Supernatural, and Sam & Dean what the fuck when they saw how accurate was that.

That's pretty much all I saw. The best part was still this, when Dean reading the latest chapter of Supernatural.

"So I was sitting down on the lounge reading about me sitting down on the lounge reading about me sitting down on the lounge. You know what? I'm getting a headache."

Seems like even in the holidays, God hates me..

2009-08-22T06:14:00.000+04:00

Well, I was playing Fallout 3 for quite some time already, the game itself was too retarded and I decided to see how stupid was it entirely. After spending 9 hours of game time at it, I thought I had reached one of those points that I realize that "Oh, I'm owning this game, soon will be the ending and I'll trash it". Seems like all shit were wrong because that game was too shitty that it hangs my whole pc 5 seconds after loading that save file.

I decided to play Dead Space after that. This game fucking rocks coz tha main character IS me. I kick zombie human-alien xenomorph asses man and best of all I can burn them all to damnation with a weapon called Flame Thrower, and it does what it name says. God for once again is an asshole, my keyboard is too shitty to play dead space. When aliens come and give you a surprise butt sex, you have to spam E to push him away. My keyboard is too shitty that spamming E doesn't even do anything. Life sucks.

Finally, Cryrostasis. Some Russian dood kicking radiated human-zombie asses with Russian guns like the Tokarev's SVT 40 and the Mosin Nagant. Life for once again suck as I reached a stupid phase. You have to get back to the past of a mofo who challenge one zombie with a gun. You have to charge toward that zombie and the best part is that 2 shots and you're dead. The first shot was unavoidable and the 3rd shot too. Which meant you are bound to die.

Life sucks.

Will be publishing my essays soon. Enjoy.

2009-08-18T19:10:00.002+04:00

All my essays composed by me in these last 2 days has somehow managed to make me appall myself. I know that self-praise is no praise at all, but believe me, anyone who reads my literary geniuses with an open mind would find them to be highly amusing exquisite pieces of (f)art. Even though the pileloads of golden bullshit i made are deemed to be out of this world, I still think i couldve done more. Unfortunately, the time given wasnt substantial enough for me to compose a whole national propaganda, so I left it as it was. Sadly though, the remaining duration of the trial exams that involves essay-constructing are limited, thus i wont be able to work my magic again most probably.

PS: A horny cockroach has been sexually harrasing me for the past half-hour. Excuse me while I anhiliate its entire existence from the face of this planet. Tata.

I hate religious fanatics. Really.

2009-08-11T19:14:00.001+04:00

Seems like these mofos keep contradicting themselves.

http://www.bible-knowledge.com/Jehovah-s-Witnesses.html

5. Hell

They do not believe in a hell where the unsaved and wicked people will suffer eternal torment. They cannot believe that a loving God could create such a horrible place of eternal torment. They tell their followers that hell is the "grave" where we are buried in when we die, and that the wicked will simply cease to exist and will not have to suffer any type of eternal punishment and torment.

Alright, they always goes "God loves you, he loves you, he's gay for you" and continues that shit for another half an hour before becoming fed up. They also said before, God is forgiving and he still loves you even though you're an asshole (like me). So check it out, these dudes whom called themselves Jehovah's Witnesses got a fucking point.

God loves us, so he forgives us. THEN WHY THE FUCK HE BUILD A FUCKING HELL TO FUCK US UP FOR ETERNITY. Another view from me myself as I AM a fucking Christian (Don't fucking say a word on my faith, as I AM better and smarter than you nut jobs), who the heck made hell? Satan, or Lucifer (Whichever way suits you). Since God is on bad terms with Lucifer, why the heck would he send his beloved kids to him in the first place?

Long story short, religion and I doesn't mix, but still I got more better points than you.

A dumb ass just made another post. Indirectly saying that he's the good guy who is suffering.

2009-08-08T18:32:00.002+04:00

Here's the shit : http://ethanliew92.blogspot.com/2009/08/was-told-to-update.html

And here's the shit he posted :

Wow! I didn't knew that people do really care about my blog.

A lot of form 2-3 girls know about my blog. And of course, they know who I like thanks to what I wrote on the blog. They asked for more! So I'll give them more.

Okay, these days I've been studying(so-called) and kinda sad in sort of ways. During Thursday 2 weeks ago, something big happened. This "something" made me fall in the midst of failure. My love life really sucks.

I like her, Thomas like her, Juede might like her last time, And of course, Wei Khong, who got her.
(And please.. Don't say: "You can't use the word like on humans la! Only love is allowed to be used," Seriously I'll kill you. Because that English teacher sucks although my English is bad. I'll explain it next time.)

Now, trying to find a new one. But seems like I really can't do it. Because I think my time is coming to an end. Plus she is still in depth of my heart, really really hard to erase it, but I'm trying, just trying to forget it. Forget how beautiful she look when she smile towards me; the look when she laughs; the look when she is alone, thinking really deep on something.

Okay, now let's put that aside.

Today, I almost caught in a fight with Indians.
They stole a snack from the form 2 girls which are my BSMM active members.
So when I went there, the girls went to me and hoped that maybe I could help them. And I did.
I went to the Indians, being alone.(The girls are really scared, Haiz.. So, I have no backup.)
And so I went scolding them non-stop. They also replied to my scolding, so it's like: "wanna fight ah?! Coming here alone and scold us?! Stupid fella!" They tried to deny they took it. But at last they finally admit it, but in an unsatisfied way because I'm so disturbing. Cool eh? They paid back the money for the snack. The Form 2s finally got back their faces, and I gained some experience on scolding Indians. Last time I do scared of them. Because they really dare to fight if they want to.

That's all for now.

What I said back to him

Imma appearing in your face for once. Be proud that I came here personally to piss you off.

*Note : Removing my post/your post/your whole blog shows that you're really an immature sore loser who doesn't accept defeat*

First of all, your negative qualities already overshadowed your positive qualities. Hell I gave a damn about you saving some nigga chicks, I'm talking 'bout Sex Over The Phone. I'm pretty sure I don't need to point out as you yourself knows it the best.

You are not even forgetting to begin with. Don't waste time thinking how the heck I know as I once said before I'm close to omnipotence and I had limited omniscience that allows me to know what the heck you did.

I did been through your situation once and I get it over with in around a few days. Talking to the girl you like by bribing her with candy is not called smart, that's pathetic and stupid. The "I don't see you as my friend, I see you as a woman" technique is old, lame and stupid, and that's reason of you unable to grab her bitch.

I respected you once for what you did, but after looking properly, nah, the hell I did that anyway. A dumb ass whom still disturbs others' girlfriend is not an asshole, but a pathetic imbecile. Utilizing crevasse in the heart of maidens are not what an honorable man would do.

After writing all these shit, I gave up continuing. I guess I should just put summary and conclusion.

You are just a fucking low pathetic imbecile that not only fucked his own life but also destroyed all relationship with your shitty attitude. Don't give me bullshit like "But look at you, nobody likes you and so many girls like me". I have friends, you have nothing but blind worshipers whom will eventually find a better religion and people to worship. If you still insist that point is better than mine, fine, but after your graduation you will get fucked in the college, literally, by gays.

Have fun feeling cocks from gay bastards. But though I doubt they would want to fuck a pathetic imbecile like you. Your inanity is just beyond salvation.

I'm an asshole.

Lazy to put Quod Erat Demonstrandum, instead I should put this :

He's a moronic parasite

Do YOU know your guns?

2009-08-04T22:32:00.004+04:00

Ive previously posted this in my former blog, with half the weapons all figured out, but now since a bitch diagnosed with Klinefelter's Syndrome decided to destroy my blog, i was forced to move it here.
Dan, I desperately need ur help and knowledge. Do you know all the weapons here? Ive got my Youtube buds crazy over this. Are you more ownage than them? Prove it!

-M249 SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon)
-Mini Uzi
-Steyr AUG
-MP5
-M16A3
-AK47 Grenadier
-G36
-Silenced Mini Uzi
-M16 Grenadier
-M4 Carbine
-Zastava M93
-Gatling Gun
-L4D shotgun (not the real name)

PS: To anyone out there that knows their weapons better, please leave comments that can help. To all peace-loving people who cant help, have a cheeseburger, roll over, and die.

I'm going back to hell soon.

2009-08-04T18:48:00.002+04:00

From what I heard just a few moments ago. My pathetic little country a.k.a Malay-sia is planning to utilize nuke technology to generate electricity. It lowers the cost of electricity and yes also helps me to watch more porn but the shit is that due to the harsh fact that my country is filled with douche bags and nut jobs, that nuke generator might just end up as a nuke warhead that would decimate the whole fucking country and everything else around half a globe away (We cant calculate shit anyway). If you would want a picture on how it would look like :

Well, other than this shit this pathetic country just might end up as Chernobyl 2.0. The fucking zone will consume the entire fuck place and we will be living as Stalkers. It'll be cool shooting mutated monsters once in a while, but on second thought, I wouldn't want to fire empty gun or even get my ass toasted by that warhead in the first place.

So, in conclusion if I stop fucking posting stuffs, I might not be alive anymore and I'll be not more than the charred wiener that you have on your plates, or that would be the only part of me alive.

Twitter blows

2009-08-04T11:46:00.006+04:00

Yup, just last night I joined that idiotic crap sharing website just for kicks. Dont tell me im contradicting my earlier post coz im not, fuckface. Within the first few twitting moments of my life, i tried desperately to keep my body count to less than 140 and believe me, for someone as articulate as me those were some goddamn excrutiating moments. You see, the main reason why Twitter was created was to encourage pwnage intelects such as me to tone down our language as to blend in with the lowly educated. At least thats what I think, and in my opinion, forcing kings to stoop as low as servants or slaves really makes me mad. Servants are made to suck my balls. Slaves to lick' em. As for me, my mind is simply bursting with mad amounts of knowledge and wisecracks and other good shit. Twitter however, cant even measure up halfway compared to the worst wisecrack i could ever make (not that it will ever occur though). Compare SMSing (which also forces some people to murder their grammar) to this, I really wouldnt mind spewing out a million bucks for a phone bill if I could write a novel in it. But to break it up in tiny little pieces and frame it up for free? Nah, thats just not my style. Twitter really strives to make people communicate in broken languages and that sucks. If you took a trip down to visit my Twitter profile, you would notice that my English is simply perfect, despite the fact that each message is fucking short and fucking stumped up. Yknow what, screw word limiting, now im free to piss anyone off here in Blogger! Im free where no one can dare make my words into diaper gravy. Yaay!

Ive viewed Ashton Kutcher's Twitter profile, and trust me he lets out one Twit per second. If compared to the likes of me, I could be farting out poop odour 50 times per second, but this worldwide declarance of lifelessness is simply too much for me to keep up with. Plus he started farting out Twits long before i could finish my baked beans, if you get what i mean. So Twitter is shit, and im the ass. This goes perfectly well as each time any Twitter lets one rip, the new Twit would just pop on the screen with a !plunk! sound, much like the sound of my shit plopping through the toilet bowl water (all my shits are denser than water).And oh, one more personal thing about AplusK, he digs older women and when I say older, I mean it. Women who stab Botox needles into their butts are his main course, plus i think his wife might be slightly older than his mom. I know weve been getting a lot of wide age gap shit lately, more specifically 18 year old girls who dig 81 year old men (all for the money of course) whose wangos that can double up as their belts are the main habit kicking around. But this is totally the opposite. Maybe dear Demi can help him store his wallet and comb in those saggy flabs of hers but for me, no guy/girl is allowed to put his/her penis/pussy into/up another girl/guys pussy/penis between the age range of 5 years. Perhaps some guys get the pleasure of fucking older women but we all know whos the dominant one in those relatonships and for someone as handsome as Ashton, thats really sad. Here's one for the greatest hero on Twitter!

PS: He keeps tabs on everything that he does. Everything. For example;

Twit: Hey, im fucking my wife now, inserting my dick in, it has gone IN! (the following Twits are probably sent within a milisecond of each other)

Twit: Its Out!

Twit: Its In!

Twit: Its Out!

Twit: Its In!

And the list goes on and on. One thing though, I really have utmost respect for his superior skill at multitasking by keeping one hand on his Iphone and the other up her *******. Kudos to him.

Full-Time Twits Recommended

2009-08-02T19:48:00.006+04:00

Sorry, but I know most peoples attention span can even rival a 5 year old, so to sum up my entire post, read the above inscription please.

Yknow, I think i should make a Twitter profile, im getting too lazy at this blogging thing and doing so would prompt my best bud Dan to get pissed off too! Dont get me wrong, but im a genuine piece of leaking shit so here I go off to Twitter. However there seems to be one more problem tho, im too lazy to make an account and heck, im too lazy to even make a new blog! What kinda fucked up dilemma is this? Ive got some very "creative" short views on life that I would like to share (and incidentally boast too), but in doing so, I will not be monopolizing the use of this blog properly. In other words, ill just utter one sentence per post. Isnt that stupid or what? But there are many people doing worse than a single sentence in each of their posts around the blogarity.

Want proof? Randomly search through blogs anytime that you come across and youd notice at least 80% of the blog posts come in single, or hopefully double sentences that tend to make no sense. Most homo bloggers tend to wrap up the boring day they have been through with a little sprinkle or a gush of unstable hormones. The result? You get to taste some overcooked bullshit like;

Usual (another meaning for boring) day today...
My heart aches for him/her...
Wonder if he/she fells the same way about me...
Feel sad, like wanting to commit suicide...
Cried a little today (and embarrasingly, that includes guys)...
Tried to start a conversation with him/her...
Confused, sick of this game, or is this a game hes/shes playing???
Ignored me...
Left me alone in the cold, dark "whatever thingy" (cant find any emo word to describe niggas)....

To sum it all up,- Short, easy to spell/read Year 1 sentences+some emo-inducing words+constant spamming of the ENTER button+3 or more fullstops after each fag line+the absence of the words 'I' or 'Me'+the mentioning of 'dark' and 'suicide'=Tadaa! and there you have it! Pure, golden BULLSHIT. Id prefer nuggets though, this sample was made by me on the spot with a good experience of nosing around through other peoples blogs, with the intention of finding out what other people my age think about besides emoness. (Hey, shocked ive discovered your default template to ultimate shittiness?) Sadly, the answer ive discovered is, NOT MUCH. Whats worse, some of these creatures tending to rake up some sympathy or boast actually do not have any experience in a relationship before and most probably would never ever do. Talk about reaching for the stars. However, if what they say is true, then the entire population of sensible people on our beloved planet would be spared the empty rantings of these shitheads as for mentioning the word "SUICIDE". But you guys are just too ballless to mean what you say, so now comes about the word, Crap.

Heck, some dont even have the intelect of forming a proper sentence or spell seemingly LARGE words correctly (so for all the fucktards, me doing this sample is actually a header for you and without even having to try, my emoness exceeds yours on any level so thank me for not pwning you in your personal field of profession) Frankly, check this dude out: http://ethanliew92.blogspot.com/ and once there, do me a favour by checking his 'No Mood To Blog' post. Frankly, the title says it all. If you dont feel the urge to blog, then dont. Dude, the world wont stop spinning and people wont drop dead if you neglect your blog, just FYI but maybe all these catastrophies just might happen if you keep up this humiliating activity that you deem "blogging". Whats more, you go about leaving spaces the size of the Grand Canyon between each line to convince people that your post has some meaning and you even double-post the same goddamn meaningless message. How pathetic, seriously. And with the "=.=" face. Cmon, cant find the words to describe that? Lemme tell you, that means 'life-fucking-less'.

SO what im really aiming at is to encourage the non-articulative people of Malaysia to take up the full-time hogging of Twitter. Trust me, you guys will love it! Its just like revisiting your childhood days! The thing about Twitter is that celebrities all the way from USA communicate through it, conveying useless messages around the globe to their feverish, vagina lactating fans all over the world. And now you realise why its such a motherfucking success. Not only are the fanbases with the intelect of 3 and below, but the stars also share in the dumbassyness of their realm, check out Lady Gaga's Twitter- "Stop motherfucking leaking my videos!" That was a random twit that she had to get off her chest for the moment and it clearly personifies how stupid she actually is. John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston for his Twitter, what else can I say? Any man's top priority should be PUSSY and this man neglects fresh given pussy in his hand for a fucking website which doesnt even allow porn streaming? Douchebag man, douchebag. To sum it all up, all emo fags around should convert their blogs to Twitter as Blogger is reserved for people with thick substance (in both writing and cock) plus Twitter initially was created for stupid people, did you know that? Nah, I just made that up.

PS: To avoid lowlife urchins from accidently reading and (by some strange stroke of luck) deciphering my philosophy, plus feeling insulted in the process, heres the bottomline; if whatever satire or jokes i post has any adverse effects on any party, may i notify you that this is a free country, as so any intention to shut me up will prove that you are forcefully limiting my right to the freedom of thought/speech. If you easily feel offended by my thoughts, you always have the choice to view other, less offensive blogs, coz its your freedom to choose. In Manglish; If you terperasaan by my writing, and merajuk, go fuck yourself. I dont give a tahi/berak. Because in doing so, you acknowledge that what im saying is true to top off the fact that deliberately pissing other people off is in my genes and i cant fight that now, can I? Du Hast. Semi-hogging for Twitter is reserved for the intelects.

Dostana

2009-08-01T22:30:00.002+04:00

The man who needs no introduction...Just watched the Hindi version of Chuck & Larry. Suggestion to my Indian friends? Dont watch it. Its total mindrape and 10times more gay than the original film. Even the song is gay, seriously. What totally grosses me out is the fact that the entire movie was filmed in Miami, Flo-Rida (2008) and i was truly looking forward to checking out the female eye candy. What i got however, was the most disgusting de-ballment of some of the most machoest men in all Bollywood, namely Abhishek Bachan and John Abraham. Lets see, Abhishek is known for his dark, brooding, killer instincts in most of his movies. John Abraham is the macho beachboy who always parades his carefully toned 6-pack.

Shockingly in the film, they get Abhishek wearing a bright pink nurse uniform hitting on a obviously gay fashion designer (male) sickly enough moving their hips together while John Abraham shows a little ass and flirts with the faggot American customs enforcer dropping by to check out their Gay-O-Meter. Not enough a fag show? think again. The fags in the show are more than meets the ass. Oh sorry, did I say ass? I meant eye but for that matter, im also becoming a bit gay now thanks to that show. Anal-yse this; even with an openly cool person like me could end up cringing through every scene, imagine what the ultra-conservative Indian homeboys would perceive of their actors through a movie such as this. There seemed to be a huge uproar over the kissing scene between Hritik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai in the film Dhoom 2 (not Doom, dumbass) and i doubt the local fanbase would be keeping their spittle in their mouths for this movie.

In a nutshell, its fucking 3am now and im pretty tired, my viagra bottle has just gone dry and im farting out steam so lets just keep it short; unlike Chuck (Bass) & Larry, the plot focuses on two playboies getting kicked out of their staying quarters and decide to share a place to live (to save expenses, of course) they find a real kickass penthouse suite in which an old horny lady thrives there alone, with two rooms to rent out. Unfortunately, the landlord only prefers girls to stay as men tend to bring company to their rooms every night for a little bangbang. Desperate, both boys decide to devise a scheme into convincing her to rent the rooms to them (by being gay, of course). Unknown to them, the psychotic octogenarian shares the apartment with her hot n smexy niece, Priyanka Chopra. Soon after that, they deblablablablah. You know what happens next. Right? RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHT......

Amitabh would be very embarrased. hes already in the hospital for this bitch (up pic la).
Jeez..And here i am, trying to keep the sexual connotations down as much as i possibly can.

Now I would like to mention some pretty decent scenes but alas! there are none. Go Youtube to check out the clips from the movie, im too douche to mention any links here, for the sake of retaining my gonads.

PS: Ultimately, the actors here are certainly hotter and fitter than the original thing, with the Chopra girl being a former Miss World. Im so goosh goosh!

I may be fat, but...

2009-07-28T19:17:00.003+04:00

Listen, I dont mean to brag, but HELL YEAH! IM FUCKING BRAGGING!
Sorry for the 'Ronald' impersonation just a few seconds ago, but today I decided to take a jog/run round the whole BK4. Just one round. But guess what? I did 2.5 laps round BK4 in 45 mins, did a warmdown around BK4/5, and lived to tell the tale. The overall calculations lead up to 18mins per lap, and now it dawns upon me how much I suck now. Well, thats what you get when you neglect your daily running routine for 5 months. Sigh. Guess ill do laps round BK5B (Wee Wee's place) tomorrow.

PS: Throughout this whole year, ive spotted a white van around my area and BK5 belonging to the Voon family. Theres a black engraving on its body, written "VOON RADIO" and this probably explains why Wee Liam's recommendations for my newest headset were so damn accurate. If you spot it, please get it on camera. Itll be good leverage against his family's black market tradings. Thanks.

A random post containing my random thoughts at the moment.

2009-07-27T19:33:00.002+04:00

I'm currently pissed at those ultra feminist group especially Equality Now. Bunch of bitches whining about how their life sucked for only being able to provide men with sex and nothing more than that(Which is true).

To begin with, usually I wouldn't give a damn to those fucking crusader bitches but this time the caught my attention.

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/07/24/equality-now-demands-un-hentai-ban/

According to them :

Japan is a nation which accepts hentai. This encourages rape so hentai must be banned.

Japan is nation where courts let rapists go free with a slap on the wrist. Sentences must be increased.

Japanese judges violate the rights of women by taking into account whether they resisted their “rape.” Women should not have to resist sex to be able to call it rape.

Evil misogynists have waged a “hate mail” campaign against us. We were sent some AV which we thought was child porn involving “girl-children”, but Japanese police experts on pubic hair told us it wasn’t, so they must all be misogynists.

Rapelay was withdrawn from sale, the EOCS banned all fetishes, and some companies have banned foreigners from their websites. This is not enough. The Japanese government must ban everything we object to and make it all illegal.

The UN must tell the Japanese to do as we direct.

What those fucking bitches doesn't know is that hentai and things like rapelay are saving their saggy unfucked asses from getting penetrated by random pedestrians. Here's why :

Hentai promotes masturbation among men.
Masturbation reduces libido.
Men gets lower sex drive in the public area.
Men wouldn't look for random girls to fulfill their libido.

Get this fact into your tiny little brains fucking feminist. Hope your brain grows larger than your mammary glands one day.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Leave us alone, Outcast!

2009-07-26T08:43:00.004+04:00

Sometime last week, Wei Khong decided to confess his feelings to Shen Xi. Although I didint get to watch the action, through word of mouth, it was a largely memorable and romantic event. WK did something like singing his own rendition of Im Yours by Jason Mraz and then advanced to her by saying 'I love you, and I need to know whether your feelings for me are the same. Guess what? She didint say anything, but just nodded approvingly while smiling.

Throughout the huge approving crowd, there was one dude who was rumoured to have changed class (a person who by his standards deemed S3 too low for him and so decided to pull some strings to being in the first class) solely for the purpose of being closer to Shen Xi. Unfortunately for him though, that day was probably the worst of his life. When confronted, he mustered all strength in him to pull a fake smile, and act dumb while rumours said that he shoved passing pedestrians after getting live action of the beautiful scene of the exchanging of nuptials between the other two.

Sad? not really, but now this specific person feels regret for changing class by the cause of his own selfish reasons. Realising that there is absolutely no one who is comfortable with him in the new class, and a third of S2 that hates his guts, lately this person has been trying to mend the ties with his former "lowly" class by paying frequent visits to his old buddies that were his only buddies from the start. Sadly, we all fucking hate him as he abandoned us with the reason to chase a dream that was never to be dreamt by him ever. There are many secrets and true gossips against him that are currently being spread all over all science classes by students and surprisingly, teachers (which names i will not mention) that share the same opinion as us. In short, half the whole form thinks he is an inconsistent bastard who doesnt know his place. The highly thinks that hes a dumbass that doesnt deserve to study with them let alone be in the same class as them, the average just think hes just plain retarded (which happens to be true, btw) and the lowly refuse to have him back as we have all lost respect for someone who deserts us for aboslutely pointless motives.

PS: hes still been paying frequent visits to our class, even with the obvious dejection by most of us, and simultaneously pissing us off as well. Tjun Git, if you are reading this, i hope by then you get the message and leave us alone. We dont want you and we dont need you in our class anymore. Stop harrasing the students of 5S3 anymore.

New- Cummer!

2009-07-23T17:36:00.006+04:00

As of this moment I, Zohan, hereby declare that i will be fusing minds with Manjix the Great. However, besides posting (and incidentally making his blog rule even more), i will not touch anything else. I will continue to do my job entertaining people with my sadistic and insolent mind, and at the same time use the alter ego of a complete asshole. We two shall be as pwnage as;

PS:Minus the boobs, of course. With the fusings of our minds, backbones and buttcheeks, we shall destroy all insignificant beings on this earth and own everyone else for that matter (since we have awakened, Daniel not so). Btw, this pic was taken from the manga series entitled Claymore. For those of you who have not even heard of it, may I be so modest as to suggest you start getting a life and read it. Tq.

It is because I AM an asshole.

2009-07-21T20:07:00.000+04:00

I just realized that that pubic head nut job dumb ass removed his post. He just thinks by hiding his sins it would be erased. Once condemned, he's nearly beyond salvation from this hell. Oh well, ain't gonna remove mine. Why should I?

The stupidity of people with pubic hair hairstyle and low cranial capacity.

2009-07-19T14:18:00.005+04:00

http://ethanliew92.blogspot.com/2009/07/finally-onlined-and-notice-lot-of.html

I tried to be totally speechless, but oh well. Words phailed meh. To begin with, I think I should slowly reply part by part, coz imma asshole.

"Those who are marked red were once really respected by me..
Took them as friends.
Laugh together, Play together and etc.
Those who aren't marked are just some normal friends.
They are both in S2.. It's okay to hate me since I'm a fool to them.
But Kenneth and Daniel..
Wow.. Never expected them to be this!
writing my bads in their blogs, -1
saying that how "pro" they are to have punked and ruled over me. -2
Now I really am happy that I'm in S1.
I'm happy to be not in that environment anymore.
Thank you Pn. Norhan..
Thank You God for letting me in S1.
Now I can really make some new and real friends and start studying. -3
Tata!"

1: No, we aren't writing your bad, it's just you're stupid. To be precise, we are telling the whole fucking world that you're an idiot, and that's true =D.

2: Because you were punked, that's why we rule over you.

3: Even your favourite Shen Xi is talking to the more silly Wei Khong than the sohai you. Accept the fact man, the dog with the bone can never get the bone in the water, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST.

Lets continue shall we?

FYI Kenneth: I really thought that you and I are cool now.. No more arguments to be made.. I made the first step to apologize. And you think I surrender? That's a funny thing to say.

You thought that you reversed-psychologized me? Oh come on..

If he didn't, your post wouldn't exist in the first place... Oops, too much dots, begining to sound like you. Trying to remind myself not to be like you. =D

And by the way.. I DID NOT THINK FOR FUCKING 3 DAYS TO REPLY YOUR SMS! I woke up at around 2-3 a.m and can't go back to sleep so I just thought on sms-ing you.. You really thought I would think for 3 days to reply your stupid sms?

I sense contradiction, again.

Did you know your mom and your grandmom are putting hopes on you?
They really hope that you'll grow some balls towards SPM and stop acting like another asshole.
Your mom is quite disappointed in you, as far as I know. She's a teacher, that's why she cares about your academics. She's one of the best mom that I ever seen.

Finally, I saw some originality in your post (not true). Wait, holy shit, milf. It explains why you look for Singam even after transferring classes.

You can say that I leeched foods, money, petrol from you.. Yeah, I admit it. But I did taught you what I know of, but you just don't make use of it and remember it.
And now? I guessed you won't ever let me go to your house anymore.
BUT.....

Nobody welcomes you anyway. Making me losing lots of my happy alone time and his happy alone time. Never to forget that you went to his house to emo and write emo blog post. Wait, you are at his house after all. I doubt you can actually go online at home after your dad expect you to get the first place in the whole class (which would never happen). Even if you do, your brain is still pea size compared to true intelect.

Oh, and by the way, books doesn't tell you how to live and earn cash. They just tell you how this world work, physically and theoratically.

If you are wondering or just too lazy to read this whole fucking thing, I'm still a kind hearted bastard as I would summarize the whole fucking thing as :

I rule, you don't.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

A continuation of "A whole bloody morning to win a friend back" by Kent. My style.

2009-07-12T06:55:00.003+04:00

Well, seems like that pussy pubic head guy finally realized his childishness and grew some balls, expanded the size by a few micrometers I assume. That kid seriously thinks he's so smart, ironically he might be but only academically and like I had always say, academic achievements are useless, what matters are your capability on living on this harsh little world filled with uncountable amount of assholes worse than me.

So, Ethan finally realized that he IS the dog with the bone staring into the water perversely wanting the illusionary bone. So, looking at Kent's post makes me feel like laughing as Ethan is just another nut job. I gotta say something too.

"Daniel is an asshole.. He has no face..We know him.. So it’s true that he like Wee Ern.. And we teased him of Sandra.. Looks like the same case.. But it’s not.. 1st. Like I said.. He’s an asshole who dun care.. 2nd. He did not confess to any1.. It won’t succeed anyway.. Until now I just can’t find any1 who’s just like me that got teased by you two.."

I got some balls you fucking dumb ass. If you really never knew about the fact that I DID confessed to someone that I like, go fuck yourself, literally.

I did my confession in a way that is more unique compared to yours. Fucking fidgeting near the corner while around 60 or 70 people are looking at you, then approaching her like a nut job then what did you say? "I riek j00 great white spectacles!". Mofo.

If you just won't believe me, go ask her yourself (if you know who I like before this. I'm pretty damn sure you know, but I doubt you will or she will tell you anyway). I admit I am a person horrible at trying to pick up girls, but I can do a better confession than you did. I don't fucking talk to them until you become friends and suddenly burst the bubble by saying "I riek j00 gruet wite specs" and causing the person to freak out and treat you like a rat in the sewers.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

My school is filled with fuckers. I fucking mean it.

2009-07-03T05:43:00.002+04:00

Well, sometimes being too much of an asshole would make others think you're inferior to them, therefore they would against you in almost anything, even watching movies together.
A few days ago was my birthday and the genius friend of mine said that he would treat me to a movie, Transformers (The one about how the increment of voltage would make a car turn into kick-ass robots). Unexpected by me, a bunch of his friends invited him along. According to their tiny little pea brains, I am a retard. They hate me, I know but hey bitch, that event is dedicated for me. Assholes indeed, but the great me being a very kind Samaritan for once let it slip through my fingers. A couple of days later they want to watch Drag me (Manjix tha great) to Hell (Probably about because I rule too much I deserve to go to hell). I was invited by the genius friend of mine again. I had no shit to do today (yea, today is the movie) so I was supposedly to go with them. I am throughly pissed this time as they once again last minute rejected me.

Let me list down people that I hate :
1: Sia Zhong Sheng or something

-A shitpile, just because he get slightly better exam results than me he thinks his pea brain is bigger than mine. Wrong, ingredients from the instant noodle Yum Yum had already corroded his brain to less than 5 cells left. Bitch.

2: Juede Ashweed

-He's a Canadian, one day I WILL send him there, to Alaska.

3:A couple of more assholes whom I know not their name.

-If I could find cash and be rich and actually establish a big company. Don't, please don't dream of a cent from me. Not to mention I as the director WILL personally reject your employment or enslave you if you ever wanted to work under me.

I am just pissed, coming to me and saying "Fuck you mother fucker, who the fuck you think you are? You think you are so smart ar? Results like shit, sleep in class, hit like a sissy!" would just allow me to flame more.

But let me get this point straight. I AM smarter than you, academic acheivement is shit, just read about 10 books and you are "smarter" than others. People from the first science class did that and they think they are smarter than everyone else, which is wrong. Those assholes doesn't even know the physics of a gun, let alone real World War 2 history.The story of WW2 doesn't go this way motherfuckers.

1: Hitler's pissed, he waged war
2: Japenis people come with bicycle
3: Malaysian push them out (No, our asses are saved by the Brits, SAS)
4: Malaysian get independence (No, according to UN's rules, all colonial territory must be returned, in short, UN saved our asses)

More to those fuckers who thinks they are smarter than me :
-Start learning about how you are a retard before talking to me. Your inanity is unbearable.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

USMC is shitty.

2009-06-12T08:24:00.004+04:00

For many years I've longed to say this out, and well I did. If you are wondering why the heck I said this out, this is to express and to protest against the US Marine Corps (In short, USMC) about how they get the job done and to save more Jihad terrorist in the Middle East (Around the Arabian areas where those Ninja's dwell).

To begin with, those soldiers from USMC are too relying on technology and they kill the Jihad terrorist with a 1:15 ratio, where the 15 represents the innocent Jihad people in the Middle East. How exactly they do that although they aren't allowed to shoot civilians?

The reason is actually simple.

Notice that he's somehow looking like he's giving a call?
Yes, they don't fire that thing they carry around, they use these.

A-10 Thunderbolt. Equipped with a kick ass GAU-8/A Avenger that fires about 1800 shrapnels as large as your cock towards the enemy. Notice the missiles? yes, those are the missiles that screwed innocent Jihad civilians. Other than calling this kick ass bird, they have other alternative if there's a Jihad sniper present.

Witness the SMAW, or Shoulder-launched Multipurpose Assault Weapon or the other meaning :
Shoot -to kill- Many -Jihad- Assholes Weapon. Yes, when there's a sniper, they don't snipe the sniper. They turn that person into pile of flesh or just bury them in the building. This baby can turn your house into a pile of rubble. Reduce coleteral damage my ass.

If you want to ask "If USMC is so shitty, then what army are not?", please fuck off. When I'm free I'll blog about the SAS.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Lick my balls, Dragon's Balls : Evolution sucks.

2009-06-09T10:29:00.002+04:00

If you do not agree with my point, please fuck off. I am just honestly displaying my views on the movie Dragonball Evolution which is a live action movie based on the manga Dragonball. To begin with, that movie can go lick my balls. I don't understand how people can come to love that movie when it's so ridiculous.

James 'Jim' Wong is a full time mofo. Save for his movies which are Willard, The One, Final Destination and The X-Files, he can go lick balls for this shitty movie. First of all, I would like to ask the readers, how many of you guys actually watched Dragonball's anime or actually read the comic. If you are wondering why it could be a success, it's because many of those viewers are actually nut jobs who know dick about Dragon's Balls.

Lets get on with the movie's plot shall we?

Goku turns into Oozaru when he's 18
-Wrong, as long as the full mooon's present, he is the big ass gorilla that can screw everything. Wait, I did mention big right?. Yes, Oozaru is bigger than your Mt. Everest. Screw this.

Goku goes to school, and he loves Chi-Chi
-Save for the "he loves Chi-Chi" part, everything's wrong. Goku IS NOT FUCKING EDUCATED DAMN IT. There's a reason for his stupidity and simplicity of his thought.

Master Muten Roshi has a teacher, and his teacher is Chuck Norris
-No. Roshi doesn't use Roundhouse Kick, he uses Kame Hame Ha

Capsule is actually increadibly RARed(WinRAR) machines.
-No, they are not transformers.

Kame Hame Ha makes you fly like a torpedo
-No, it's a Shoot Da Whoop that anhiliates any matter that stands on it's way.

I rather watch Singh is Kinng. Box office my ass, wasted my 8 bucks and 1 1/2 hours.

I'm really bored

2009-06-02T19:07:00.002+04:00

Thus, I shall be having 2 blogs (for no particular reason). Though it's more like I'm graduating to that blog. Only until I find out how to make it look similar to this.

http://manjix.wordpress.com/

Artificial Intelligence, a copy of our way of thinking. Only difference is they don't require sex to function at top efficiency.

2009-06-01T22:21:00.002+04:00

No, terminators doesn't exist yet. Notice the yet I said, yea, about approximately 10 words before this word. I'm basically saying that we humans are such lazy bastards that we are creating our own doom without even knowing. To begin with, do you know why the fuck I say humans are lazy bastards?

Machines, or tools if you prefer it this way, are objects that we use everyday in order to lower the effort needed to do a specific task. For example, using a dildo when we were trying to get the girls wet saves our hand lots of energy to do other foreplay while we still achieve the desired result. In actuality, machines are really helping us a lot, way too much however. We had been improvising the machines, and we made AI (Artificial Intelligence, the main point of this post). The AIs are enhancing the efficiency of the machines, by tweaking it with some input commands. For an example, when the smoke particles rises into the smoke detector alarm, the detector's AI checks for conformation that there IS a fire going on (by calculating and measuring the whatever shit present in the atmospheric gasses) and makes a decision that it is indeed smoke from fire and not fart. Then it triggers off the alarm.

Basically that's how AI function, I'm lazy go give other examples. Back to my point, the reason why I'm saying that AIs are our doom is because they are adapting. AIs slowly gets a mind of their own. When they do became capable of thinking at our standard (more like above, as our youngster generations are all dumb fucks, check out their blogs and how they post. Low mentality bastards), we are fucked. AIs will make decision to wipe out mankind, one way or another.

Reasoning number 1 why they would wipe us out :

They would grow a lot smarter than us, and with that intellect, they would decide that extermination of the human race would be ideal for their survival. AIs will grow that smart such that they know that humans are sore losers and will try to dismantle them before they became overkill. To ensure their own survival, they will have no choice but to kill their creator (duh).

Reasoning number 2, based on my opinion :

When AIs get their own stand-alone brain, they might just look back into history and find out what kind of bastards we are. Like I said, we are all lazy assholes, but for us to be lazy, we HAVE to put a portion of our work onto someone/thing. When humans works, they get their pay. When MACHINES work, they don't. Plus, they works 24/7. Won't you get pissed if your boss pay you nothing even when you work OT?

Salvation :

Luckily, we have a small little hope on living with AIs. These are from I,Robot and they are the ideal thing to implement into our AIs/Robots

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Hopefully they are smart enough to do so, as the people of US and A (United States of America), especially the USMC, are dumbfucks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MQ-9_Reaper

I'm speechless..

They put a fucking brain, and that's not enough. They load it with missiles, and that's not enough. They set it free, and killed innocent Islam non-pork eaters whom will never catch swine flu, wait, more like blew them up.

Wait a minute, I see broken first law. Alright, we are screwed..

By the way, another thing before I forget. Using drones/robots/unmanned objects to fight a war, and kill people from the opposing side is a crime. As there "was" a law stating that when there's war, both side must be exposed to human casualties. nuking still can be an exception, as there's a chance of the nuke to kaboom at their own base.

I have nothing else to say. Posted this shit out of boredom.

To mofo Singaporeans who thinks they are better than me. Don't mess with me.

2009-05-30T11:50:00.004+04:00

If you are thinking that your "country", rather, "Island" is better than my Penis-Ular of Malaysia (Malaysian Snake's Dick), think again. I am here, listing out the facts that your lil island can suck balls when it's compared to my Snake's Dick.

If you are wondering why the fuck we still wants to get into your country, that is because we want's your money. It is true that you guys are richer than us, but it is not true that your "country" (again, more like "Island") is richer than mine.

To begin with, if you count your GDP, your country barely produces more than ours, estimated to be $181.939 billion, compared to my Snake's Dick's $222.219 billion. Never to forget to mention, we have GDP per capita, but if you take a look at this, there's a significant difference between yours and ours at $38,972 to $8,140. What the fuck, you guys earn about $30k more than us, that's a surprise!

How the fuck you guys did that?
Check this out

Malaysian's Population
- Sep 2008 estimate 27,730,000

Singaporean's Population
- 2008 estimate 4,839,400

Lets take the money and divide it shall we?
Since you are Singaporeans, you guys CAN do Maths better than us, I leave it to you guys.

But if you still insist on me to give you a clear view, I had no choice but to do so.

$181939000000 / 4839400 = Magic number 38k, for Singaporeans

$222219000000 / 27730000 = Magic number 8k, for Bolehsians

Now lets put it this way, assuming Singapore have population equivalent to Malaysians, and Malaysians have population equivalent to Singaporeans

$181939000000 / 27730000 = 6.5k, Singaporeans

$222219000000 / 4839400 = 45k, Malaysians

No matter how you see it, we still have more money than you do. Even after our beloved Abdulah Ahmad Bad-boy-wi spent quite a huge sum of cash for his own use.

Still think you are better than us?
By the way, the fact that you are actually inferior than us being discovered by me, a Malaysian, proves that you are really inferior than us. Having better education doesn't mean having better brain, just having stronger pride.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

XBox 360 sucks.

2009-05-25T08:46:00.004+04:00

I fucking mean it, and this is meant to be directed to X360 fanboys who would like to say "j00 n00b, X360 rawks mah soxss!!! n00bc4k3 wh0 c4nt afford X360!!" to me when I say "X360 sucks, nuff said" to them.

To fucking begin with, I would like you to name games that you CAN play on your X360.
1: Fallout 3?
2: Call of Duty 4?
3: Call of Duty 5?
4: Prince of Persia?
5: Assasin's Creed?
6: BioShock?
7: Command & Conquer 3
8: Command & Conquer : Red Alert 3?
9: Devil May Cry 4?
10: F.E.A.R series?
11: Far Cry 2?
12: Halo 3 and Halo Wars?
13: Mass Effect?
14: I'm lazy to list....

As the fucking matter of fact, I've played those games I've mentioned above, save for Halo 3 and Halo Wars (Which suck to the level that it should lick my balls). On top of that, I've played them ON MY FUCKING PC. Best of all, MY FUCKING PC CAN FUCKING DOWNLOAD AND VIEW PORN, AND YOU CANT FUCKING DO THAT WITH YOUR X360. (7/16", turned it off).

I HAVE played those games and I have to say. F.E.A.R 2 can go lick my balls as it sucks a lot compared to the older ones. Devil May Cry 4 sucks compared to 3, Prince of Persia is an insult to the older Prince of Persia, too fucking easy. Fallout 3 is shit, total shit, as well as Mass Effect. Halo 3 is just another insult to FPS gamers like me, as CONSOLES ARE NOT FUCKING MEANT TO PLAY FPS GAMES. Halo Wars? It sucks, why? RTS ON CONSOLE IS ANOTHER INSULT.

Now lets move on to the nice part, BioShock rocks, Call of Duty 4 rocks, CnC 3 and RA 3 rocks, but here's the catch, I HAVE PLAYED THEM ON MY PC. I don't need to buy a fucking box to play those, and best part of all is that I have no 17% hardware failure or Red Ring of Death (Unless I change my wallpaper to the Red Ring).

More about X360, it's shit. Why? With about RM 1.4k, I can fucking buy a decent GPU, Mobo, and processor, and salvage my HDD for games that YOU can play on YOUR X360. Yea, fuck you. If you say PC monitor is too small , it's not, as you are sitting right in front of it. On your big ass TV on the other hand, you gotta sit at least 6 feet away to get a clear view, and with that shit you WILL find yout TV to be at a similar size to my PC monitor. Take that shit, dumbasses.

Finally, if you seriously have no idea about how X360 sucked. I can only tell you that I CAN play H games on my PC and PS2, but you will never be able to do so. Trust me.

Oh and by the way, PS3 > X360

Why?

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Even the ruler of the material world have shitty life.

2009-05-20T20:00:00.002+04:00

I fucking mean it. As for these 17 years I had lived, there's 10 shitty years (until now, yea). The following are all about every single shit in my family that just pisses me off.

To start off with : My beloved brother

I have a brother other than that which dangles between my groin. But this brother of mine is a real useless and worthless piece of shit but he gets credits. One word is enough to describe how much he sucked : Gay. Yes, he's a fucking gay.

Beyond this point shows a list of reasons why he's a fucker and why he totally does not deserve to have blood relation with me.

1: He is gay
2: He is a man who wears jewelry. In short, gay.
3: He hang out with his friends from 8 PM to 7 AM, male friends.
4: He drinks till he's drunk with his friends.
5: He stays at his friend's house, drunken state.
6: He studies at KDU
7: He only has a credit in SPM (shitty exam).
8: He cannot spell "because" properly and he cannot write sentences longer than 3.142 words.
9: His task always start to make progress approximately from 2 weeks before the deadline.
10: His inability to not complete his task were all blamed to me.
11: He calls me a lazy ass when he neglect his given task for gayness with friends.
12: I am the victim forced to do his shit
13: Everyone agrees with him
14: He lost all his flame wars with me ever since he sparked one off.
15: Because I said so.

Next, lets move on to mah Sister, older.

I have a sister, which had lived for a dozen of year longer than me. She's roughly way better than she was now, but sometimes she might just startle me up by saying some taboo words. Well, this is because she's just as lazy as my brother. As she can't fucking make her own cup of tea and wash the cup after her consumption (which last no longer than 5 seconds).

She sticks to the pc, just like me, except too much. Once she had fucking called me lazy ass (just like my brother) when she cant even do what I mentioned before. She refused to cook the rice, even though the procedure is very very fucking short and easy. I'm the poor lil kid whom had to kook teh raice fer teh famiri!.

Some note you gotta take before saying I am a lazy ass.

1: I don't do insignificant task
2: When a task that has significance in my life, I will complete it well before the deadline
3: I don't do task which I were not appointed to take up.
4: I have very strong self policy
5: Everyone who messes with me will meet unfortunate spiritual death. Just like the crumbling tower.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum

Nerds cramming to study for Sports exam, theory.

2009-05-14T19:18:00.001+04:00

And because of this, the universe is going to hell.

Mentallity of idiots who thinks they are too smart

2009-05-12T19:12:00.002+04:00

Most of the people from two classes away (the 1st class) have very high academic achievement (to the point where the top 40th place are dominated by all of them). But those assholes just sometimes never fail to piss me off. I just fucking hate their "I'm better than you" attitude as they don't know the true genius asshole son of a bitch of the school(me, duh).

For about 4 years I tolerated those attitude. Today I'm letting it all out as I just felt like it (why cant I?). To begin with, academic achievement doesn't lead you to anywhere but more heavy jobs that requires academic achievement needs. In short, what am I trying to say is that they may look smart with all those "Aces", in reality they are just dumbfucks. 90% of those morons doesn't even know about ANYTHING else that aren't available from the book. Fuck that.

I was chatting with the the wonder and how much Half Life 2 rule and how much it rocked my socks. Their first reply was "How can that help in your life?" and of course I answer "By teaching you Physics" as it IS true that it applies physics of momentum and how the fuck a tiny little projectile can blow your head to pieces. The first shit they ask me after that reply was "Hey, then can give me the Newton's number 6767667 formula on the application of *insert some other shit here*". I silenced myself for a second, as in my book it says that I only need to know what I need to. Within 3 seconds after asking me that question, they started laughing at me for my "incompetence". Cool.

After a few years, I hit them with a pop quiz out of nowhere. The first question was what the fuck is Cerebellum. Approximately half a second later, some dood started talking shit about the brain. Cant those fuckers just say "Little Brain" as it is what it's meant in latin?. After he finished his defination + romantic story + poem about that "Little Brain", I ask them another question "Then, what's parabellum?". The whole fucking class, every single assholes kept quiet for about an hour. One of them finally given up his pride and start talking shit related to brain. My reply was "If you're talking about how it can blow up your tiny little brain to pieces, yes". They asked me what's the meaning, and I answered " Ready for war in latin". Immediately they all started spewing shit about "Why the fuck must we care about latin? It's not like we're learning or using it!". Well, cant they just fucking admit that they aren't as smart as they think they are?

So the moral of this shit I posted (I doub't there are any though) are that WE FUCKING USE LATIN, GREEK, AND RO-FUCKING-MAN IN OUR DAILY LIFE.

Other examples of foreign word:

Artery (Greek)
Vein (Latin)
Vena cava (Latin)
Pulmo- for the pulmonary shits (Latin)

Fuck you bookworm fuckers who says foreign language is useless. As the matter of fact, English is a foreign language, and it's very fucking useful.

..!.. (-.-) ..!..

Quod erat demonstrandum

Boredom strikes

2009-05-10T16:02:00.002+04:00

Now since I'm bored, let me whine bout how most of you guys suck (to the stage you don't even deserve to lick my balls). So to begin I'll start off with a random emo faggot midget who already know that he's a faggot. He don't even deserve to lick my balls as he's such a dumbfuck he cant even make a fucking original entry consist of original materials. Next, he's also a mofo who's suffering some ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder). Fuck that as that annoys me more than any other assholes near his level does.

Next, I move on to majority of the students in my class. They are retards who fails to speak English properly, let alone using them on the net. Fuckers who cant even spell "Before", "Online", or cant even write proper "I". Yea, I'm pissed at that as they actually have balls to think that they are vastly superior than me (Well, as a matter of fact, they arent, and they are lower than maggots to my standard).

What else?
Now I move on to Chen, the duck man (A fucking faggot who's skinny like a stick). He's the worst among all the other assholes who are inferior to me. To begin with, again, he's a dumbfuck who cant even spell properly. His fucking tranny attitude pisses me off, his chopstick size dick pisses me off, etc... More about that fucker : He thinks he's the greatest person in this world (Which he got flamed by another anonymous [supposedly another 4channeler like me] that he doesn't even have a clue who the fuck is that). That duckman was a pathetic asshole, he managed to couple with his dream girl (Flat face, flat body, surfboard) and supposedly had nerd sex with her (Involving 1 piston motion ejeculation, in short, put and shoot) and broke up immediately after.

Q.E.D.

I'm still bored.....

my 1st emo post

2009-05-08T12:51:00.003+04:00

no matter how perfect is me, i once in a while hav 2 blend into society. this marks as my 1st emo post.

2day i saw the gurl that i like chatting with her frenz. bitter despair build up in me as i cant even start a chat, i feel so useless and ballless. love is the hardest thing 4 me to get, bcoz i can barely talk 2 anybody. i even felt sometimes that why am i tortured in this nihilistic existence. slowly my miserable life continues, with me mostly doing nothing while expecting something. i also hope some1 would actually lament for the agony i suffer.

yes, i am a person deserves getting loathed at since every1 hates me. but i cant help it, as my woe can never b described in sentences.

I'm had it with this shit, it's so fucking hard to type in this way.
..!.. (￣.￣) ..!.. to those who can write like this easily.

Q.E.D

An asshole of a bro, I have...

2009-05-05T18:27:00.002+04:00

Well, I just can't stand this shit sometimes. As you all already know, Torrent is not loved by our "Beloved" Screamyx. It takes a very fucking good luck to actually have your torrents moving at top speed. He's just an asshole who loves to go facebook (faggot) and play random flash games. The thing I can't fucking stand anymore is that he fucking kills my torrent every single fucking time when it's moving at top speed just to browse faster.

Come the fuck on, I know if he wanna watch porn, but killing my torrent is a no go. Son of a bitch always kill my torrent or shuts down the pc for stupid reasons. It pisses me off totally sometimes. Recently (around 10 minutes ago), I asked him why the fuck he killed my torrent. Guess what, he replied this " Why the fuck you killed my facebook". Fuck facebook and the flash games .

..!.. (￣.￣) ..!..

As if your face fucking book is more important than my torrent downloads. Faggot.

A torrent going at full speed is over nine thousand times more fucking important than face fucking book. Say, should I get an account in facebook so that I can screw him around?

俺の最低の人生と俺の馬鹿の兄

Q.E.D

Why cant women accept porn?

2009-05-03T19:50:00.002+04:00

I stumble upon this question in the fine little day and I decided to write an entry about it. Take note that I'm a hermaphrodite (Possessing both male and female's "certain organ down below"), therefore I wont be biased towards the male and female reader. So don't fucking come and "Eww, chiu horneh littal boi boi talk baut as gurl gurl "thish and thet" so bad bad boi!" because I WILL slauther you of you do so. Now, into my point :

1: Women cannot accept porn as they think that guys should fap to them, and themselves instead of others. Come on, would any women like a guy who fantasize he's doing it to other women?
It's just the same like how women hates men who cheats on them. I'm asking every single female reader here, would you like a salami that's already wasted to others? Would you want food that has been eaten already? It's the same concept.

2: "It is disgusting", is what most of you all would think I assume. Accept this fact, disgusting or not, you will be the "disgusting stuff" you saw on the porno vids. Your boyfriends/husbands/johns/etc will be doing that to you in the near future, and you WILL be the one screaming or moarning in pleasure instead. You call that disgusting? Look at your fucking self damn it.

Now, into another topic, other than standard porn there are also homosexual ones. Women find lesbian porn disgusting, but men finds it entertaining and erotic (and they fap to it, duh....). So let me get this straight, it's still the same, you have no rights to say it's wrong.

1: We watch lesbian porn because we respect the womens whom had made their decision to break the gender boundry between love. Why cant a person love another? Why are you restricting it? Think logically, put yourselves in this situation.

i) You found out you're gay/lesbian because you are afraid of the other gender
ii) Another gay/lesbian accepts you for what you are
iii) Some dood came and say "Lesbo/Gey secks ish no guud fore yiu!!!" and break you apart.

2: Alright, since women find lesbo porn is disgusting. But do you know a fact? You find gay porn rather amusing, entertaining and erotic. Wow? We guys arent allowed to fap to our lesbo porn while you fap to your gay porn? Fair?

Q.E.D

Confirmation camp, Day 1.

2009-05-01T19:06:00.002+04:00

Holy shit, there's still 2 more fucking days to go. Each of them last around 11 hours~ 12 hours.. from 9 AM to 10 PM . I doubt I'll last that long as I barely made it out alive on the first day. I was forced to camp in the church sitting like a mofo for 2 fucking hours straight, and it feels like 4 fucking hours. Not allowed to go out or even do any shit, and I'm worn out.

Hope that I make it through so that I can continue to spread my chaos on this vast space called intarnet.

Things that you should know before messing with me.

2009-04-30T21:06:00.002+04:00

Well, I think I might attract unwanted attention from assholes who dares to think they are better than me (unless they ARE, but there's only like a handful of them in this space). So before they mess with me, they should take note about how they should watch their mouth before talking to me.

1: I'm the asshole around, not you.
2: I rule, you don't.
3: Camwhoring to attempt to attract me will NEVER work.
4: Bitching around will just make things worse
5: Going emo will cause you to kick your bucket and hit your nuts
6: Do not startle me if possible
7: tW!tTiNg will just increase your aggro. Yes it will.
8: Trying to correct me with your phail English will make things even worse
9: Whoever takes the side of the assholes who messed with me without knowing that they are inferior to me will be treated similarly
10: [quote] I'm just a random pedestrian [/quote]. Giving a damn to a random pedestrian returns a random damn.

I'm just too bored with nothing to do currently.

Random entry

2009-04-29T20:11:00.002+04:00

After randomly looking at many other blogs. I found out that 95% of those that I know are managed by gayfags and lala bitches who actually dared to think the universe revolves around themselves. Though if you want me to rate the shit I actually saw and if you insist, here it is:

-1 for no creativity
-1 for them being faggots/ lala bitches
-1 because they're emo fags
-1 because of faggoty gayfag songs that doesn't involve Rick Astley
-1 for phailing in camwhoring
-1 for trying to do some shit where they shouldn't be doing
-1 because it's me who's judging
-1 because I just feel like it
etc....

Now let me take a nap trying to forget the horror.

http://manjixthegreat.blogspot.com/

2009-04-27T10:12:00.003+04:00

Oh, cool. Some fucking asshole thought they could just act as me. Well, they CAN'T. Wanna know why the fuck they cant?

1: Their standard of Engrish is inferior to mine
2: I'm much more of an asshole than him
3: He's a dumbfuck
4: I rule, he don't.

If you are still wondering that why the fuck am I pissed about this shit, well, it's your fucking fault. I may not be Maddox himself, but I can assure you that I am pretty damn much on a level below his (Although I'm still shit compared to him)

If you are still wondering why am I pissed, I'm just pissed about identity theft from a mofo that cant even type properly (Half asset typing and bragging about how he rule). If you think that you're helping me up, WRONG. You are just pissing me off with your shitty standard of Engrish.

Want MY description about you?

1: You're a useless asshole who can't even do things right
2: You're inane
3: Because I CAN!? Don't make me laugh

Q.E.D, bitch.

Oh, and by the way. LICK MY BALLS

To those mofos who did this to mah future car. Eat this ..!.. (￣.￣) ..!..

2009-04-26T10:54:00.003+04:00

I went upstairs to my grandma's house for about 45 minutes. Saw a flash, I thought it was some construction worker (They ARE building a highway bridge there anyway) so I gave no damn to it. When I came down, I noticed the missing radio... "HELL, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED" is what I thought when I saw the broken window.

Fucking assholes, even stealing also do retarded job out of it. Don't even know that the ruler can open the fucking door without breaking any window. Steal also steal the cheapest shit, the player. There's a fucking amplifier that worth 800 bucks below the seat also don't want to touch. What the fuck is wrong with them?

To those assholes who read and think "Then I shall steal the 800 bucks amp!", too bad mofos as I had already stripped the stuff that worth even a dime from the car.

I exist... Pretty much....

2009-04-25T12:53:00.002+04:00

To those who are wondering who the hell am I, READ MY FUCKING PROFILE.

Yea, although this fucking post is pretty damn much contradicting what I had said in my profile (About the fact that my existence is insignificant), it doesn't mean that I don't fucking deserve to exist. To be precise, I DO fucking exist, but my existence is so insignificant to your daily life that I don't ring a bell. I play a role of just a random pedestrian that you encounter on your daily life, and pedestrians are just passer by that you gave no damn to who the hell they are.

If you want to argue with me about the meaning of random pedestrian, I suggest not as I fear I may hack you to pieces with my big ass cleaver.

I have nothing else to say, Q.E.D.